Mum's Life

'The best advice I ever received': how seven words changed a mum's life

Mum, attorney and writer, Candace, sought out the advice of other mothers while having her first child. 

She talked to family and friends, both new and experienced mothers: 

"When I was a brand new mum," she wrote on ScaryMommy. "I frequently sought advice from some of the more experienced moms I knew–friends who had undertaken motherhood years before me, who I’d watched with curiosity and more than a little bit of awe.

"I trusted their counsel and took comfort in their words. Even if I ended up making different choices than them, I respected their opinions and valued their insight." 

Planning to continue working in a highly competitive area of law after the birth of her son, she had the best laid plans. 

But one friend's words of advice stuck with her, and made her rethink all her good intentions. She writes how she was out to lunch with her friend, and was sharing her worries about re-entering the working world after maternity leave. 

When her friend hit with the words that have stuck with her since: 

"The advice she shared with me was that, even though I may make certain choices for my life right now, I could always make different choices later. 

"Your plans can change, and that’s OKSimple, but completely mind-bending to me at the time." 

At the time, Candace continued, this wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. She wanted to be comforted in the knowledge that her plans would stay consistent: 

"As someone who has never been a huge fan of major life change, I wanted to feel I’d be able to settle in to my new life once the dust cleared. I didn't want uncertainty. I didn't like uncertainty. I wanted to find comfort in consistency." 

However, the words stood the test of time:

"While my freshly minted new mom self may not have been ready to hear that life could and would eventually change again, the more experienced me was able to see value in the fact that. Although life would bring many changes, I had the power to change with it.

"Life will change again and again, whether you want it to or not." 

Candace concluded that if there's ever an event in your life that teaches you to reevaluate your plans, it's having a child: 

"If motherhood teaches us one thing, it is that time marches forward. Though the days are long, the years are short, and what works now will not always work for us later.

The ability to make plans, assess your circumstances, and revise if needed is a beautiful thing." 

We love this advice; although choices and changes may seem scary, especially when they involve your little ones, you will always have ability to adapt, reassess and accept change. 

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