Family Life

'Talk to the woman, not about her' - Mum's advice to everyone hitting the school gates

We see them, every single morning at the school gates, we see them. 

Those perfect mums, they ooze perfection, perfectly manicured, enthusiasm flows from their being. 

We wonder how on earth these type of mums can do this, we're a legitimate mess. 

We can't function, we're still half dressed in our pyjamas, we haven't washed our hair in days and we can't get to school in one piece emotionally. 

How do they do it?

We snoop, ask questions, talk to the other mums, try to find out what the perfect mum's secret is. 

However, when Constance Hall tried that exact tactic, she was given a swift wake-up call she wasn't expecting. 

Watching a mum flawlessly turn up to school each day, her wonder got the better of her. 

"I don't know what it was about her, she drove a nice car, held her head high and always had a blow dry. She spoke in a posh accent, wore nice (non stained) clothes and barely ever spoke to me." 

"There I was, with my tits out breast feeding my babies, smelling like dried milk, […], it was like she was put on this earth to amplify my insecurities."

Mum-of-four, Constance, decided to do some snooping asking another mum how this flawless woman manages to arrive with such precision, but she received a small stash of advice instead: "Talk to the woman not about her."

However, instead of sulking because she was shot down, Constance worked up the courage to approach this perfect mum: "I sat next to her on the brick retainer wall outside the kindy room."

"I found out she is an ex addict and holds AA meetings to help out other addicted women that want sobriety, I found out she struggles with her marriage, her kids and her health just like the rest of us." 

"I found out that she is a million things, snobby not being one of them. She is one of the most inspiring women I know," added an awe-filled Constance.

But while the Aussie mum was making a new friend, she learned a lot about herself in the process, things that hadn't occurred to her at the time. 

"Turns out that while sitting there hating my life without the confidence to talk to these gorgeous mums, they didn't have the confidence to talk to me, they thought I was too free too relaxed, that I thought I was too cool."

But today, these mums are the best of friends, they help each other through tough times and laugh through the good times.  

So to spread a little advice to all the mums out there approaching the school gates in the coming weeks, Constance shares: "Talk to the woman not about her."

You may not be perfect or flawless, but no one is. So get out there and make some new mum friends that you can laugh with and most importantly, who you can cry with. 

Search results for
View all