Family Life

Mum explains exactly why 'mummy friends' are so important

No matter what our age or our life stage we all need friends. 

Whether we're young and in school, going through the teenage years, looking for a buddy to explore the world with or need someone to hang out with when the kids are driving us up the wall. 

We all need friends.

However, blogger Gylisa Jayne didn't think she needed friends, well mummy friends, in particular.

Until she gave birth to her first child and her fiancé Ryan didn't understand everything about her.


A post shared by Gylisa Jayne (@gylisaa) on

"I didn't want to sit in noisy soft plays, or talk about different coloured shit," she writes in on her Facebook page.  

"I didn't want to have knowledge about best nappy brands, or know exactly how many fanny stitches we all had.

"I had a preconceived idea that Mummy Groups were vicious cliques, and I hadn't been in one at school – I didn't plan to start now."

Gylisa didn't just not want any mums friends, the writer didn't think she needed them – she had her 'baby daddy' and that was good enough for her. 

"I didn't need them anyway, I had my soul mate – my baby daddy. The man I had chosen for this journey. He would be there for everything. I didn't need anyone else," she continued.

"Then I had a baby, and I needed someone. The network I should have had, simply wasn't there.

"My midwives were too busy, I hadn't met any of them twice. 

"My Health Visitor was a vanishing woman – still talking about phone numbers and triages and children's centres I'd never heard of as she walked herself out. Never to be seen again.


A post shared by Gylisa Jayne (@gylisaa) on

"Then there was my partner. My chosen mate. The first love of my life. The man that knew what I needed before I did.

"Only he didn't understand me anymore. He was trying to figure out his 'Dad Role'. 

"He didn't understand why I was crying about putting the kettle in the fridge. 

"He didn't know why I'd forgotten to take the parcels to the post office.

"He didn't know why I had no love left over for him.

"I didn't want ' Mummy Friends'. 

"Until I realised that no one else would understand me like they did."

Writing about the importance of having friends who have gone through the same experience as you, the blogger continued: 


A post shared by Gylisa Jayne (@gylisaa) on

"The ones that had been there, done that. The ones that were fumbling through for the first time – just like me. 

"The ones who had had every argument you can imagine with their husband. 

"The ones proving you didn't need to lose yourself along the way. That you'll find a new you as you go.

"The ones who needed me just as much as I needed them.

"I made them laugh, and they made me howl with our observations of this bizarrely fabulous and horrendous journey.

"There was no clique, just women loving women – despite what you might have heard.

"I had love left over for my partner again then. Because he might not get it – but there were scores of women that did.

"So I didn't want 'Mummy Friends'…

"I needed them."

Such a powerful post, we love Gylisa's honesty and openness. 

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