Family Life

Mum asks for advice after she brings kids to brother's child-free wedding

Child-free weddings aren't a rarity.

Many couples choose to celebrate their day without little ones around.

One mum, however, insisted on her children being present on her brother's big day.

Taking to a popular online forum, mumsnet, the author pens the aftermath of bringing her children along, despite the wedding being a kid-free zone.

Her husband was against the idea, but the mum and her own mother persisted and arrived with kids in toe.

"So wedding arrives, the eldest child really didn’t want to walk down the aisle but managed it. Not a squeak out of the baby.  Arrived at the reception. My husband and children were separated from me and actually put into an orangery type thing attached to the main room," said the author.

"They then sat in silence for two hours just speaking with the kids. No alcohol could be served in this veranda thing." 

"Both my mum and I were in tears. My dad wanted to say something to my brother but we didn’t let him. My husband went upstairs with kids and stayed there all night not letting anyone relieve him.

"He is completely pissed off with me saying he wanted to punch the arsey brother-in-law of my sister-in-law. He is saying to just leave it but I want to talk to my brother. Do people think this was my fault? We are actually still in the hotel trying to have a holiday," she concluded. 

Mums were quick to reply that she should have respected her brother's wishes.

One mum said: "So you insisted the kids came to a wedding where they didn't want kids? 

"Your husband was right, the kids should have stayed at home. Not your or your mum's place to dictate how the bride and groom have their wedding.

"It might be annoying and they would have had to accept it if you couldn't have gone due to childcare but that's their issue. 

"Seems most of the upset has come from this insistence…"

Another questioned:

"Why did you have to insist on bringing your children when they didn't want any? You're sounding like the unreasonable one."

One mum pointed out that they should 'salvage' their sibling relationship. 

"Your brother should have made it clear – no children. But having conceded defeat, he should have made you all welcome and didn’t.

"It is their wedding day, what is done is done. Be kind, be forgiving and focus entirely on the positives of the day if you are to salvage your relationship with your brother and his new wife."

 

One mum sided with the author, saying she had experienced something similar at her own nuptials.

"I wanted a child-free wedding, however, some people brought their kids out of necessity etc. I did not lose my head over it and had an amazing wedding day. Your brother sounds like a bit of a tool."

Additionally, one mum said leaving kids out of a wedding is 'vile', but to let the newlyweds enjoy their honeymoon.

"I do not understand how people can want a child-free wedding when they have children of their own or nieces and nephews. Like they are second-class family because they are kids! It's a vile thing to do!  Having said that, your brother has JUST got married, leave it be now and let him enjoy his 'honeymoon period'."

Do you think the mum was right to bring her kids to the wedding?

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