Big Kids

A letter to a certain somebody at the school gate (you know who you are)

As a mum, who is just about to embark on her sixth year of morning drop offs and afternoon collections, I have had my fair share of school run disasters, near misses and feelings of despair.

The school run is extremely hectic: parents rushing to get to work, mums and dads trying to ensure the toddler doesn’t run off while saying goodbye to their eldest and panicking that you'll all be late AGAIN.

And while many of us try to make way for others, be pleasant and basically make the time as enjoyable as dropping your child to school at the same time as 200 other parents can be, there is always one.

One parent who thinks the world owes them something – and this is who the letter is addressed to.

Dear parent,

We all know just how hectic the morning is; getting the kids up, dressed, fed and in class on time makes for a very busy few hours.

I know because I've been doing it every day for over five years. 

And while you may not realise this letter is being directed at you – you’re probably too busy dropping your kids off in the middle of the road while we all wait behind you – you will by the end of it. 

I know it’s tough when you really need to have a catch-up with your son's friend's mum but please try to move slightly to the left or right of the path and not stay in the middle.

We have enough to do trying to motivate our dawdling kids to get in before nine without having to work our way around you too.

A simple thank you when someone picks up the jacket you dropped wouldn't go amiss, and when the lollipop lady steps out onto the road, please don’t make a face.

No matter how late you are going to be for work, the kids are the priority here.

And please, for your own sake as well my nerves, can you look when you cross the road.

Being too busy yapping to look as you step out in front of a bike or a car is not an acceptable excuse.

Finally, as you tell the world what you have on that day can you do so away from the front of the gate? We’re getting too old to be squeezing past anyone anymore.

As parents, we all need to stick together – if we don’t have each other’s back no one else will.

Yes, some mornings are a lot worse than others and, yes, I’ll let you get away with it once. But that’s it.

Yours sincerely,

A mum who wants to nip this in the bud now

Mary Byrne

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