Reality check: ‘My first diet was at 15. I wasn't overweight, but I didn't look like my friends’

At the age of 10, Tova Leigh overheard a remark that upset her greatly and led to years of yo-yo dieting and self-hatred.

The mum-of-three is a successful actress and blogger and while it may seem like she has it all, things haven't always been rosy. 

“I was 10 when I overheard my cousin say, ‘Tova will struggle with her weight her entire life’,“ Tova wrote on Instagram under a photo of her covered in Cadbury Roses.

“I had no idea what he meant. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing wrong with my weight, but something about that sentence stuck and it eventually became a reality.

 

I was ten when I overheard my cousin say “Tova will struggle with her weight her entire life". I had no idea what he meant, as far as I was concerned there was nothing wrong with my weight but something about that sentence stuck and it eventually became a reality. My first diet was at 15. I wasn't overweight but I didn't look like my friends who were tall and naturally thin, so I decided to have one meal a day. Sometimes that meal was an ice lolly or three pieces of chocolate and the weight came flying off. I stopped when my period stopped and went back to eating actual meals which got me my period back within a few months but something inside me changed after that experience. I realized that my weight could be controlled and that all it took was some willpower to lose it. So I started yo-yo dieting. I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin. I have changed my wardrobe because clothes were either too small or too big more times than I can remember, I had stretch marks on my stomach and boobs even before I became a mom from all the shrinking and expanding, I've been on every single diet there is on this planet and I even made up a few of my own. I have thought about my weight for hours and days. I have stared at those scales and been happy or sad depending on the numbers but the truth is that no matter how low or how high that number has been – my feeling about myself has always been the same. Even at my lowest weight when I was wearing tiny jeans and totally rocking a bikini, even then, I did not like my body. Well, I'm finally seeing the beauty from within that people speak about. The fact that my body is the only body I have and deserves to be loved for everything it has done for me. The fact that I cannot teach my own daughters self-love until I find self-love myself. And the fact that the only real source of pressure to look any different from how I look is coming from me. I have clung onto my size 12 for over a decade when the truth is I am really a size 16. I am done feeling ashamed about that because frankly, I’d much rather spend the rest of my life enjoying this body that gave me 3 healthy kids than focusing on charts and numbers. #RealIsSexy 

A post shared by Tova Leigh (@tova_leigh) on Sep 21, 2017 at 3:31am PDT

"My first diet was at 15. I wasn't overweight, but I didn't look like my friends who were tall and naturally thin, so I decided to have one meal a day.

"Sometimes that meal was an ice lolly or three pieces of chocolate, and the weight came flying off."

Sadly, the mum's eating disorder got so bad that she experienced amenorrhea, and her periods stopped.

“I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin. I have changed my wardrobe because clothes were either too small or too big more times than I can remember. 

"I had stretch marks on my stomach and boobs even before I became a mum, from all the shrinking and expanding.

 

A post shared by Tova Leigh (@tova_leigh) on Sep 12, 2017 at 4:27am PDT

“I've been on every single diet there is on this planet, and I even made up a few of my own,” she explained.

Sadly, no matter what diet or non-diet Tova was on, she still didn't feel good about herself.

“Even at my lowest weight, when I was wearing tiny jeans and totally rocking a bikini; even then, I did not like my body," she explained.

“Well, I'm finally seeing the beauty from within that people speak about; the fact that my body is the only body I have, and deserves to be loved for everything it has done for me.”

However, being a role model to her three daughters, Tova was forced to think about how her body issues might impact on their future.

 

A post shared by Tova Leigh (@tova_leigh) on Sep 15, 2017 at 1:23am PDT

“The fact that I cannot teach my own daughters self-love until I find self-love myself. And the fact that the only real source of pressure to look any different from how I look is coming from me.

“I have clung onto my size 12 for over a decade, when the truth is I am really a size 16,” she admitted.

“I’d much rather spend the rest of my life enjoying this body that gave me three healthy kids than focusing on charts and numbers. #RealisSexy."

The mum's story is both inspirational and eye-opening as she highlights just how much body image and confidence issues can affect us all, even as children.

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