Why the Tate case is a wake-up call for every parent

If you have a son between roughly eight and eighteen, the name Andrew Tate has almost certainly come up. Maybe at the dinner table. Maybe you caught a glimpse of something on his phone and felt your stomach drop. Maybe he repeated something back to you that sounded nothing like the boy you’re raising. You’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.

In the wake of the arrest of Andrew and Tristan Tate in the United States and their subsequent extradition to the United Kingdom, where both men now face multiple serious criminal charges, Irish domestic violence charity Sonas has spoken out about the broader harm caused by the kind of misogynistic content the brothers built their platform on. And what they’re saying is something every parent needs to hear.

It’s bigger than two men

Sonas is Ireland’s largest provider of domestic violence services, supporting around 1,500 women and children every year through refuges, safe homes, community outreach and advocacy. They know, better than most, what happens when harmful attitudes go unchallenged.

“This case is about far more than two men,” said Fiona O’Malley, CEO of Sonas. “It is a reminder of the damage that can be done when misogyny is normalised, monetised and promoted to millions of young people online.”

That word “monetised” is important. The Tate brand was built on selling a version of masculinity, one rooted in dominance, contempt for women, and the idea that empathy is weakness. It found its audience almost entirely through social media, and that audience skewed young. Very young.

“At Sonas, we see the devastating impact of violence against women every day,” O’Malley continued. “While there is never a single cause of abusive behaviour, repeated exposure to content that degrades women, glorifies coercive control or portrays domination as a sign of masculinity can contribute to harmful attitudes that make abuse more likely.”

Six reasons this content does real damage

Sonas has published six clear reasons why misogynistic online content is harmful, and they’re worth reading in full, especially if you’ve been trying to find the words to explain your concern to a partner, a teacher or even your own child.

• It normalises disrespect towards women and girls. Repeated exposure to content that portrays women as inferior or deserving of control makes discriminatory attitudes appear acceptable, even desirable.

• It encourages unhealthy ideas of masculinity. Impressionable young men may come to believe that dominance, aggression and emotional suppression are what it means to be strong, making healthy, equal relationships much harder to build.

• It increases acceptance of abusive behaviours. Misogynistic content can contribute to greater tolerance of coercive control, intimidation, sexual harassment and violence against women.

• It harms girls’ confidence and sense of safety. When girls repeatedly see women objectified, insulted or blamed for violence against them, it damages self-esteem, reinforces harmful stereotypes and increases fear.

• It fuels online harassment and bullying. Misogynistic influencers often frame the abuse and humiliation of women as acceptable, even entertaining, within online communities.

• It undermines healthy relationships. Content that promotes manipulation and entitlement replaces empathy and mutual respect with expectations that can have long-lasting consequences.

What parents can actually do

None of this is easy reading. If you’re already stretched thin between the school run, work and trying to remember when the bins go out, sitting down to have a nuanced conversation about online misogyny with a teenager can feel like climbing Everest in slippers.

But O’Malley is clear that this is everyone’s responsibility. “Parents, educators, technology companies and all of us have a responsibility to help young people critically evaluate the content they consume online and to promote healthier, respectful models of masculinity.”

She was also careful not to write off young men entirely. “The overwhelming majority of boys and young men want respectful, equal relationships. They deserve positive role models who demonstrate kindness, empathy and accountability, not toxic influencers who profit by promoting hostility towards women.”

It’s a fair point. Most of our sons are good kids navigating a confusing online world with very little guidance about what they’re actually consuming. Talking to them doesn’t have to mean a formal lecture. It can start with a question about something they’ve watched, a comment you challenge gently, a conversation about what respect actually looks like in a relationship.

“Preventing domestic, sexual and gender-based violence starts long before someone enters a refuge or contacts a support service,” O’Malley said. “It begins with challenging harmful attitudes, supporting healthy relationships and ensuring that young people have access to positive influences both online and offline.”

Sonas is also calling on social media platforms to take greater responsibility for limiting the spread of content that promotes hatred, abuse and misogyny. Because however hard we work at home, the algorithm is still doing its own thing.

If you need support or information, go to the Sonas website for more.