Family Life

This mum's reaction to her son's anger is inspirational to any parent

There is nothing worse than dealing with an angry child. As children grow, their reasons to react with anger can become more complex.  

Mum-of-two, Kathleen Fleming, recently shared a story of her son's fit of anger on her blog Majestic Unicorn

How she reacts to her son breaking a mirror is truly inspirational. 

Fleming begins her post detailing her shock at how forceful her son had been: 

"It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons.  And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor – a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light." 

Instead of reacting with more anger, however, Fleming chooses to remain calm: 

"I was quiet. I surveyed the damage and took a deep breath. Put the dog outside so he wouldn't cut his feet, put the cat in the basement for the same reason.  

I walked into the backyard and felt the hot tears streaming down my face. It's amazing how alone you can feel as a single parent in moments like these. I realized how scared and disappointed I felt. Did this really just happen? Yes. This was real."

When she heard her son crying in the bathroom after the incident she decided to go to him:

"Deep breath, #MamaWarrior. Deep breath. That small, fragile soul needs you right now. He needs your very best. Your biggest compassion. Your most gentle and firm mama love and reassurance. More deep breaths. Go Mama.

"Go Mama. Get him. Go now. Scoop him into your lap. Yup, you're crying too. Damn this was big. Hold him tight. Watch how he curls into a ball in your arms so quickly. See how eager he is to be loved by you. To be reassured by you. See how small he still is. See how fragile that spirit is.

"I love you. You are safe. I am right here. The worst part is over now. I've got you. I'm here. I love you." 

Instead of punishing her son for the outburst she instead tries to talk to him about difficult emotions:

"Go Mama. Tell him about Anger. Tell him now. Anger is a really powerful feeling. You have a right to your Anger.  Anger burns hot…He nods. He feels it. He's met Anger now. There's a better way to show your big feelings.  

"We'll work on it together …. tomorrow. I'm here to help you. You are safe. You are never alone in your anger. You are never alone in your fears. I'm here. We're here together." 

Fleming takes a different tack again, by embracing "loveness" over "broken-ness": 

"Does it help [anger] remember how to love deepest? Does it push us towards compassion and over the hurdle of "rightness" and "wrongness" into LOVENESS?


"Go Mama. Go now. Get that baby of yours. Teach that. Show that. Live that. It's called LOVENESS. Go. Now." 

Her constructive approach to difficult emotions is heartwarming. Go, warrior mama! 

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