Family Life

'My children remained changed': mum reveals why we should cry in front of children

As parents, it's always our first instinct to protect our kids, from holding their hands across the road, to turning the pot handles away from reach or even not letting them see us cry. 

But mum and blogger, Constance Hall, thinks that we should let our children see us cry, and she makes a good point. 

In a Facebook post, she explains that exposing children to raw emotion isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

"Do you hide in the shower when you need to cry? Do you wipe your puffy face quickly and answer your kids with 'no no mummies fine.' 

"I used to.. you know, you don’t want your kids to feel the insecurity of their rock breaking down…" 

So she would hide behind closed doors, especially as she went through relationship breakdown she tried to hide the toll it was taking on her from the children. 

"They inevitably caught me, they consoled me, in gentle caring ways, little arms on my shoulders as I lied about being fine. I got help, my life got better. But my children remained changed." 

When it comes to handling raw emotions like sadness, or grief, it can become a knee-jerk reaction not to cry in public or in front of the kids. 

"I was raised by a young single mother, she had a knack for tough situations, she had been through a lot in her short life, and always taught me 'don’t be so worried about saying the wrong thing, just say something, go in for the hug, say your sorry, ask the questions, in a world where everyone is silent in the face of raw emotion just say something.'

"When my step-dad's brother was dying we all stood silently in the room trying to be polite, my mum jumped on his bed and wrapped her arms around him and said 'this is so shit' which allowed him the space to have a cry.  I never forgot it."

While a lot of adults back away from the emotion, children who are just learning empathy, can surprise us. 

"But on the weekend I watched a terribly sad documentary with my children and as tears were welling up in mine and my daughters eyes my son put his arms around us both, patting and rubbing our backs.

"I realised that my kids are completely ok with human emotion, not traumatised from seeing their mum cry, they care and understand that this is life. People get hurt, people hurt people, mums have their limits and even teachers cry.

"There is such comfort for a child knowing that their rock can break down, but that doesn't mean they aren't secure.

"And if we can’t be their for each other why are we here at all?" 

Other mums are loving her message, sharing their own stories of tough times. 

What do you think mums? Is it emotionally healthy to let your kids see you cry? 

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