Family Life

Mum's picture of her daughter is bittersweet because she's one in four

Stacey Skrysak posted a beautiful picture with her daughter in her arms. 

The photograph instantly conveys the special bond shared between this mum and her precious girl, as their smiles light up the black and white snap. 

But the photo isn't as perfect as what people may think, as Stacey reveals she is one in four, with two very special people missing from the picture. 

"This picture-perfect moment is far from perfect. Only one child appears in this photo, but I am a mother to three children… one triplet on earth and two in heaven."


A post shared by Stacey Skrysak (@skrynews) on

"What you don’t see in this photo is the pain. The pain of holding a child as she takes her final breath. The pain of planning a funeral, instead of decorating a nursery. The pain that lingers, years after that final goodbye," added the mum. 

Stacey shares her story of grief because she needs others to understand that it doesn't go away: "There will always be a piece of my heart, shattered without two of my triplets."

"But over time, I have learned how to manage the grief, even tuck that pain away, so it's not visible on the surface. Because that's what society expects us to do."

Mum reasons that people don't want to see her cry, that for some people it's difficult to even acknowledge loss, especially pregnancy and child loss, a topic considered a taboo which makes people uncomfortable. 


A post shared by Stacey Skrysak (@skrynews) on

Stacey makes a pretty good point though: "Here's the thing – chances are someone you know has experienced a loss. Maybe it's a friend or neighbour. Maybe it's your child's teacher. Maybe it's the woman you watch on the news."

"One in four women experiences a loss, whether it be through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss."

Looking at the picture on screen we can all see the beautiful moment that is being shared between the two, but what we can't see is the grief both Stacey and her daughter are carrying.

"What you don't see is the special bond that child shares with her siblings. That necklace my daughter is admiring holds the initials of her siblings, Parker and Abby."


A post shared by Stacey Skrysak (@skrynews) on

"She may not get to play with them at home, or walk side-by-side with them at school, but she knows all about her brother and sister. They will always be part of our lives."

As we look on, there may only be one child in this photograph but there are three kids in this mother's heart. 


A post shared by Stacey Skrysak (@skrynews) on

Because Stacey is one in four women – she is not alone. 

We hope all our MagicMum readers know that it is OK to share your grief, and there'll always be a place for your children, no matter if they are in the photograph or not. 

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