Family Life

Mum's list of reasons why toddlers wake up at 3am has us LOLing

We cannot count the amount of times we've wished they would just go to sleep. 

Look we love them, but we need to sleep too. So we've found your blanket, and your teddy, and given you a glass of water so PLEASE go to sleep. 

Mum-of-three and blogger, Laura Mazza, knows this night-time struggle all too well. So much so that she's composed a list of all the reasons your child wakes up at 3am. 

And we gotta say- it's pretty accurate. 

"Reasons your child is waking up at 3am:

"Ever wondered if they were too hot or too cold because they’ve insistently woke at 3am? Well here are some REAL answers.

"1. They’re not sure if they’ve heard Yanni or Laurel. This is a big one. Not knowing if what they’re hearing is correct can be anxiety provoking. It’s like when you say “put your shoes on” and they hear and what you’re ACTUALLY saying is “run around and take off your pants right before you need to leave” is it yanni or Laurel?

"2. Sleep regression. It’s their 157th wonder week… they’re WONDERING when you’re gonna learn that their boss and they’ll sleep IF they want to. When they want.

"3. Your newborn was switched just before you took them home. Sure they slept great at hospital, but uh… this is a new baby.

"4. Because they wanna f**k with you. Because your perfect sleeper doesn't want you to get comfortable, ever. If you become complacent in parenting you’ll think you’re doing a good job, and your child can’t have that. Guilt is how they get more toys.

"5. Their bum is itchy, their pyjamas are too scratchy, there’s a giant giraffe in the corner, their sock is on too tight on the left, no actually it’s the right one, yep definitely the right sock…their tongue is wet. THERE IS SOMETHING THAT IS MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. They just aren't sure what it is yet.

"6. Imagine waking up and remembering that you forgot to do something really important. This is for your child, the fact they forgot to tell you that they no longer like bananas. (But would like to hold one before nap time)

"7. Because they need to stop you from having another child. If you’re exhausted there will be no nookie. No nookie, no sibling to rival your love with.

"8. Because you’re their b**ch. Simple, b**ch.

"9. Because mars is in retrograde and the moon is at 90% water diagonally and has a lactose intolerance and the wind is blowing too closely to the ocean creating a shift transformation rippling REM movements

"10. Because you give the best cuddles, and that’s all they want in the middle of the night, you. Because your warmth and love is amazing and they love you! (refer to 4 re: guilt)"

Makes sense to us! 


Search results for
View all