Family Life

Mum worries about autistic son going into school- what she does next is amazing

Mum-of-three, Misa Alexander distributed flyers to her son Hugo's preschool class. 

Now 7 years old, Hugo has moderate autism spectrum disorder and as wells as a learning disability. This impacts how her relates to others and communicates with others. 

"He’s an amazing little boy," Misa told Mamamia. "He’s very happy and has an incredibly positive predisposition, which really helps him in the world because his communication is really limited.

 “He’s unable to request things that he needs. We still use a lot of sign language. But he smiles, he’s happy. He wants to interact with other people. He’s really growing.”

Hugo sees the world around him differently to most people, however, Misa is working to challenge how the world sees him. 

So when Hugo started preschool she distributed flyers to the parents and children explaining why Hugo is different. 

"The teachers told me that at the beginning of the year there was one little girl that was really scared of him… After I handed out the flyers, she became one of his closest peer group people in preschool. They hugged when they saw each other,"  Misa explained.

"It really broke down the barriers between the children, the parents, the teachers, Hugo and myself. It became more transparent and there was more compassion, because they actually understood what was going on."

When Hugo started big school, Misa realised that flyers wouldn't be enough to communicate Hugo's needs to his classmates. 

A graphic designer by trade, she decided to write a book. After receiving help from special needs educators and crowd funding, Fergus and Delilah was born. 

The fictional Fergus Ray Franklin is inspired by Hugo. He is wired differently to the other children. Like Hugo, he prefers to spend time alone, he spins, he flaps and hums and stares at the clouds. 

The gorgeously illustrated book aims to help children understand their classmates with autism. 

"Last year, I made it clear that I wanted Hugo's school to read that book in every class, and they did. So now they all know Hugo, they know that he's got a bit of a quirk. And it's just accepting and it's loving," Misa said.

"To see the effect is just amazing, and I just hope that every child that has a disability or additional needs that they could have that in their school and they could see that level of support around them.

"That's what's feeding the fire."

Misa wants the book to break down the barriers and stigmas around autism. 

"I believe that I was the product of stigmatisation around disability. I'd had very little to do with it as a child and teenager; I didn't have anyone around me with disability. I remember saying to my husband, 'I think if I had a child with disability, I'd have to give them away. I don't think I'm equipped for it'."

 

Family time to start the new year under #rainbows & our neighbourhood fig tree!

A post shared by Míša Alexander (@fergusdelilah) on

When Hugo was diagnosed with autism at two years old, it came as a shock to the family. 

"It was horrific. I just remember falling into an absolute heap of depression." 

"I thought what's my life going to be like; what's his life going to be like? It was a horrible dark pit. Hugo cried and cried all through the night, so I was so sleep-deprived and I felt like I wasn't getting anything back from him. All the sign-language, the intervention, the occupational therapists, everything else, but nothing back." 

Luckily, Hugo has improved immensely in recent years. 

"He's really come in leaps and bounds, and my love for him has just exploded. Which is a really beautiful place to be, because that's how you want to feel about your child."

Misa hopes that Fergus and Delilah will help both parents and children understand autism. 

"I'm hoping that we can put a little dent in society and make it a little bit better, certainly with a younger generation of children having that compassion. And that will keep moving with them through life and that will bring a greater good."

For more information on Fergus and Delilah see here.

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