Mum's Life

Mum goes through the stages of walking with her children and we can't cope

We're constantly encouraged to go for walks with our children, and we totally get the concept of a healthy active lifestyle. 

However, after trips such as the one Emma Lou Harris had, there is something so appealing about sending them to exercises classes instead (yes, we are aware that makes us sound lazy!).

But seriously, it is hard to know whether we should laugh or cry as Emma Lou accurately describes the events which unfold when taking your kids for a leisurely stroll. 

"First fives minutes; leisurely strolling and pushing a pram with a spring in your step, the breeze gently flowing through your curly blow dry and the fresh air filling your lungs while children laugh with glee, riding their bike through puddles and asking you to chase them blissfully," she explains in a Facebook post. 

"Last hour and 55 minutes; pushing a pram up a hill with one hand and trying to drag a princess bike with the other that the lazy shite you're raising has abandoned and refuses point blank to cycle.

"One child is being carried on your back and choking the life out of you as they try to hold on for dear life, another is chasing a neighbourhood cat […] and trampling on flower beds in the process."

What's more, this Mum is adamant at least four of her fingers are heading towards amputation due to carrying the bike and toddler on her back. 

Then there's the issue when your children decide they don't actually want to walk anymore, and you end up trying to convince your children you will leave them behind if they don't follow you, even though you know this is completely untrue, and they do too.

"The stress of the buggy and the non-cycler and the groceries that are Edward scissor handsing you, […] even the crying the kids are doing has provoked stress snot to start running down right into your mouth and even invites your hair to stick to your face making it almost impossible to see."

"You're spitting hair and flies out the side of your mouth, going purple from the choke […] and JUST as you see home on the horizon, someone needs to go for a friggin' wee and needs one NOW, forcing you to have to take this f**king circus you've created behind a neighbours wall for release."

"And hope to everything that is almighty that they don't see you out their living room window and put an invoice in your child's Halloween Bag! Every. Single. Time!"

We're not too sure about taking the risk… what do you think?

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