How to deal with tantrums

It all starts with a little whining that quickly turns into screaming, kicking ad hitting – and everyone in the area staring at your child.

Tantrums can turn simple, everyday tasks, like going shopping, into a real nightmare, but you are not alone: these sessions may vary in intensity, but are common for one to three-year-old boys and girls.

Toddlers are trying to understand and master their world. And when things don’t go according to plan, they make use of the only tool they know to express their frustration: a tantrum.

Their reasons for getting frustrated are not very different from situations that annoy adults on a daily basis, such as not finding the right words to express how they feel, not being able to accomplish a task or realising  they don’t have independence or power to call all the shots.

Here are some tactics to avoid and deal with tantrums:

Reward good behaviour: Some kids throw fits because receiving negative attention from their parents is better than getting none at all. So reward your little one for his good moments.

Give your tot some independence: Offer a choice instead of imposing a situation – such as “Do you want to brush your teeth before or after your bath?”

Know your kid’s limits: There is no point in trying to drag your child to the supermarket if he is sleepy. Also to avoid frustration, offer age-appropriate toys and games, before they move on to more challenging tasks.

Keep cool: If it is too late, don’t make matters worse with your own frustration. Take a deep breath and try to think clearly. By hitting your child, you state that it is ok to use corporal punishment – which can increase the negative behaviour in the long run.

Try ignoring it: If the tantrum poses no threat to your tot and to others, carry on with whatever you are doing – there is no point in trying to reason with them but keep an eye on your child. If you are in a public place, take them to a quiet place to calm down.

Let your child decide on the time-out: Once your tot is a bit older, you can let them stay in their room until they regains control. They will get back that sense of autonomy that was lost during the tantrum.