Grieving mum’s post on dealing with loss and joy at the same time is eye-opening

Liz Perone lost her mum when she was 37 weeks pregnant with her son.

Three weeks later she gave birth and the mum was left dealing with both loss and joy at the same time. Two completely conflicting emotions, but two that Liz had to go through.

Understandably, the mum-of-four was left in a state of depression and took to Instagram to share her feelings at the time in a post that has resonated with a lot of her followers.

 

A post shared by Liz Petrone | lizpetrone.com (@lizziepetrone) on Sep 17, 2017 at 8:34am PDT

“I am both,” she writes. “I'm both ‘I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT THIS SECOND’ and ‘I hope you don't expect me to put that bra back on and go anywhere’."

“I am at once ‘why do my friends never invite me places anymore?’ and ‘oh great, how am I going to get out of this one?’

"I am 'for the love of all that is holy if one more person touches me I will fall to the ground in a pile of cold ash' and I'm 'someone get over here and snuggle me to sleep, already.'"

 

A post shared by Liz Petrone | lizpetrone.com (@lizziepetrone) on Sep 9, 2017 at 7:28am PDT

In an honest description of her depression, the mum writes how it can feel like she has a "weight on [her] back"one minute and be "the kind of morning sunlight that bursts arrogant through the trees" the next.

"I'm the woman who doesn't want vacation to ever end and I'm the one who CANNOT WAIT to get back home," she continued.

"I've never been so tired and I've never felt more alive.

"I'm the oldest I've ever been and yet I will never again be this young.

"I'm a mom, and I'm still me."

 

I am both. I'm both "I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT THIS SECOND" and "I hope you don't expect me to put that bra back on and go anywhere." I am at once "why do my friends never invite me places anymore?" and "oh great, how am I going to get out of this one?" I am "for the love of all that is holy if one more person touches me I will fall to the ground in a pile of cold ash" and I'm "someone get over here and snuggle me to sleep, already." I am "I'm so embarrassed my house is a disaster," and I'm "judge me, FedEx guy, I freaking dare you." I'm together sucking it all in until the day I die and proud of the beautiful belly I've earned. I'm both getting up early to do all the things and making love to the snooze button for two hours. I'm in four inch heels and big earrings and then too I'm in bleach-stained sweatpants and fuzzy socks. I'm quinoa and bone broth and #whole30 and I'm chips and dip and caramel lattes and a too-big glass of chilled wine with ice on the front porch. I'm the kind of #depression that hangs from your neck and settles like a weight on your back, dragging you down towards the dark, and I'm also the kind of morning sunlight that bursts arrogant through the trees and makes shadows that look like art and #dance when the breeze blows just right. I'm the woman who doesn't want vacation to ever end and I'm the one who CANNOT WAIT to get back home. I've never been so tired and I've never felt more alive. I'm the oldest I've ever been and yet I will never again be this young. I'm a mom, and I'm still me. I'm afraid, and I'm still doing it. I'm lonely, and I'm #blessed. I'm both. And that's enough right now.

A post shared by Liz Petrone | lizpetrone.com (@lizziepetrone) on Aug 7, 2017 at 4:43pm PDT

Liz's post resonated with a lot of readers as she describes how she is both lonely and blessed; afraid and still doing it.

"Love love love this! We are all all of those things and you have just said it so beautifully. #inspiration indeed [sic]" wrote one. 

While another said: "Wow. That was beautifully written. It also describes me perfectly."

Such an incredibly powerful post; well done to Liz for sharing her true feelings. 

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