Grandmother's post about why she left her daughter's delivery room is perfect
When the first grandchild is born into a family it can require a lot of readjusting. Not only do the parents have to readjust to having a new member of the family, but THEIR parents have to readjust to being grandparents.
This doesn't always run smooth. Often, wires are crossed, boundaries need to be renegotiated and conflicts readdressed.
However, this lady, posting on Reddit as Martella, has the Granny game down.
My daughter kicked me out of the delivery room… from r/beyondthebump
"My daughter kicked me out of the delivery room," she began. "As was her right, and I fully support her in her decision to do so."
The question of whether or not to have grandparents in the delivery room varies greatly depending on the family dynamic. She continues to say that her daughter gone into labour with her first child in the evening. As her son-in-law was working the night shift, she drove the expectant mother to the hospital.
"The plan was always to do that if she went into labour while he was gone, and she asked me many months ago if I would be in the delivery room with her. I said yes."
Staying with her daughter in the delivery room, the father-to-be arrived.
"Last night I stayed with her until he got there at midnight, and around 2 am, my daughter looked at me and opened her mouth to say something, then closed it and looked over at her husband.
"I asked if she wanted me to go, and give them some privacy. She breathed an audible sigh of relief and said yes, and when she started to apologise, I told her not to. I gave both her and my son-in-law a hug, and went home to sleep."
The next morning she received a text to say that her daughter was still in labour. So instead of rushing to her side, the granny-to-be decided to do take a different approach.
"I went over to her house to feed her dogs and let them out.
"I’ve been here cleaning and preparing freezer meals since then, and when I’m done I’ll clean up the kitchen, feed the dogs again, and be on my way. When my grandchild is born, they’ll let me know. I’ll only come to the hospital if they ask, and I certainly won’t come here unless they ask."
While preparing for her first grandchild, she had done some research herself and decided what role she would play in the birth- supportive but at a respectful distance.
"I found this forum when I Googled ‘what to do for daughter while she’s in labour’ and I’ve learned a lot. I’ve seen too many stories of overbearing grandmothers, and I won’t be that."
You go granny! Other Redditors are loving her story, as unfortunately not everyone had the same understanding from their own mothers.
In an update, the baby girl was born after 24 hours of labour. And her final message really clinches the grandmother of the year award.
"My daughter pushed for two hours before they told her they were going to have to do a C-section, and she asked to try pushing one more time, and then my granddaughter was out!! I’m so proud! 9 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches long! She’s a boss! I’m just all shook up."
Awh bless her! She's going to be an amazing granny, we can feel it.