Dad’s honest Reddit post has gone viral for a really important reason
For any new parent, the first few months can be extremely daunting. However, that focus tends to shift to Mum and Baby, and the new dad can often the forgotten about or type-cast as the 'clueless' one.
One new dad took to Reddit to counteract this, and the response he received was phenomenal. User Kree Tendo shared his experience of being left alone with his nine-month-old son, and not only handling it but smashing it.
His post reads:
“Sunday was the first night I had alone with my son (wife has gone to do a course for her job for a few days), and yesterday was my son's first day at nursery.
"It's only been a couple of nights, but it's made me realise a couple of things. First, I'm finally confident enough to say I know how to be a father, how to look after my child independently; and secondly, just how much I love my wife and how much she does!
"I stay up til about 1 or 2am most nights to make sure he is settled, and she will get up in the night to resettle him if needed. He sleeps amazingly most of the time, sometimes 12 hours through with bottles whilst he is asleep!
"Not really sure if there was much of a point to my post, other than to say I'm getting the hang of this parenting thing!”
The post got a great response from new dads giving him encouragement, but perhaps more importantly, trying to debunk the stereotype of the helpless father.
One new dad wrote:
“When my youngest was six months, I had a surgery that required me to stay home one-and-a-half weeks. After the first day, our sitter got the flu, so he had to stay home with me. My oldest (who I love with all my heart, he knows he is my little buddy) is a mummy’s boy. Dad will do for most; but when it comes down to it, he wants Mum.
"Baby dude is the complete opposite. I walk in the room and he smiles. If he is melting down, seeing me cheers him up. And when Mummy can’t settle him down, it’s Daddy in for the win.
"Use this time, my friend. You can forge that same bond. It’s awesome.
"I am a lucky dude. You can be one too!!”
Another added:
“I know how you feel. My wife had complications after birth and couldn't eat for several days. After a week, we got home and she was fairly bed-bound. She could get up, but it was between the toilet, bed and sofa. I did everything for the baby and took care of her. It's so satisfying knowing I can handle that. Next baby, I might take more time off (shared maternity in the UK).
"I'm also waiting for the day when a 'dad's are crap' mother comes at me without 'father's don't know what it's like', as I've got a loaded canon waiting.”
The support continues:
“I hear you so much! I've had to live apart from my wife for awhile (work and moving), and I've had our now two-year-old the majority of the time. She only wants me to put her to sleep now. She loves her mum and wants to be with her when she is here, but come bed time, she screams 'til I go in and put her to sleep. Men can forge these bonds, we just have to do it. I live for those moments.”
With the stereotype of dads not being as naturally caring as mothers, it’s no wonder that 50 percent of men in the US, according to research released by the NPR, don’t feel equipped to deal with fatherhood. Even celebrities like Ryan Reynolds and Lin Manuel Miranda have taken to Twitter to be brutally honest about fatherhood.
In July, former Bachelorette star Ali Fedotowsky slammed that bias in a conversation about co-parenting with her husband, Kevin Manno. Speaking to Fit Pregnancy, Fedotowsky said, “When people ask, ‘Does your husband help?’ I’m like, ‘What do you mean?’ Why do people assume the baby is Mom’s job?”
It’s fantastic that Kree Tendo’s post went viral, and we hope that it will challenge some outmoded ways of thinking. Let’s hear it for the papa-bears!