Dad of four girls shares his HILARIOUS account of fatherhood through Instagram

33-year-old father-of-four Simon Hooper has been documenting his life in the family home on a daily basis.

But what makes his account unique is that Simon is a dad to four GIRLS.

 

Getting people out the door to go & actually do something as a family can be a challenge – staying at home always seems the easy option but with house viewings today and not wanting to clean up for 4th time, it was essential go out into the real world. Getting a one trottered pig to play the violin while dancing the macarena & speaking Latin would be considerably easier than getting all the childrens to empty their bladders, put on shoes and get in the car without considering drinking bleach. Once we were at the playground, the 2nd challenge is then to get everyone to leave again. No one wants to be the guy who yells across the playground in a passive aggressive tone to their offspring, so you do it in a chirpy joking way in case other rparebts are listening, then stomp across and pick up the offending child while trying not to make a seen. I did that today x 4. In the end, I had to carry everyone out to ensure we all left and ensure the risk of a daughter return to swings was reduced to zero. #additionforworldsstrongestman #familydayout #putyourfingshoeson #4girls1dad #parkexitescortservice #fod #Fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on May 13, 2017 at 12:15pm PDT

The Londoner is completely outnumbered by his wife Clemmie, daughters, Anya (8), Marnie (5) and twins Ottilie and Delilah (four-months-old).

 

The usual morning routine was initiated this morning (me pretending not to hear the twins, me getting kicked in the back and told to get milk, me reminding @mother_of_daughters it was my turn yesterday followed by me getting told I was wrong). While i was downstairs, operating on autopilot, making drinks through eyes so tightly welded shut you'd struggle to prize them open with an industrial size bottle of optrex & a crow bar, the kids started to close in on our bedroom. When I returned their were 4 people where there was once 1 & the bed had turned into a small multiplex cinema to sooth shouting twins. As you can see, Clemmie was thrilled – It was still only 6.55am. No wonder she destroyed usain bolts 100m time as she left the house to go see her friends this evening. #imbasicallyjustadogsbodyforwomen #servicewithaforcedsmile #intravenousnightgarden #iwasntthatlongwasi #FatherofDaughters #fod #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on May 5, 2017 at 12:09pm PDT

Which believe it or not, leads to an absolutely hilarious feed, full of humour, terrifying dad moments, and a strict rule of not allowing Simon to be in charge of choosing the kids' clothes!

 

Tomorrow is international day of the girl and I, more than most, am celebrating. I might be heavily outnumbered and outgunned, but I'm celebrating because my girls are strong independent young ladies that are growing up in a world that they can do anything they put their mind to (with a little encouragement). We strive for equality and see women as equals (and in my case, as superiors!). That said, in many places girls are seen as second class citizens and have limited opportunities to reach their full potential. This has to change. Go kiss your girls goodnight & encourage them everyday to reach for the stars. Tag a strong girl and share. #mygirlswearthetrousers #daughters #dayofthegirl #girlsareequals #girlsarestrong #sisters #mygirls #girlsareamazing #beproudofyoudaughters #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 10, 2016 at 12:39pm PDT

The Dad's captions are almost as good as his snaps, explaining every inch of what is going on in the family at that moment. 

 

The curse of being called Simon when at a children's birthday party – I am immediately rolled out for the obligatory game of 'Simon says'. Of course I take it easy to start with and filter out those that can't keep up. After separating the wheat from the chaff, we get to the hard core pros who know their stuff. I finally kill them all off with the old stand on one leg, close one eye and stick out your tongue. The remaining kids think I'm taking it too seriously, get bored and run off leaving me looking like a proper tool. I might have taken competitive dadding too far- they're only 6 after all, oh well. #competitivedad #ifyouplaywithmeweplayforreal #playhard #happybirthday #simonsays #happysunday #fatherofdaughters #instadad #parenting #kidsparty #dadlife

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Sep 18, 2016 at 1:07pm PDT

The one of Simon helping his eldest daughter Anya with her homework –  we reckon this is every dad's worst nightmare!

 

This week my eldest has been doing sex education at school. Shes very mature about it & having a midwife as a mum, they know a lot more than your average kid, no 'front bottoms' or 'nunnys' in this house, it's strictly a 'vagina' affair (which coincidently would be a great title for a drama series on TV) That said, she's chosen tonight (when @mother_of_daughters is away) to ask questions about men which makes me feel like an embarrassed child, but i promised to tell her the truth. My personal favourites – "do you wear a condom daddy?" Me – "Yes". Then why do you have so many children? Touchè. "Have you and mummy had sex more than 3 times?" I laughed proudly – "Way more……like at least 9 or 10 times" ( I didn't want to come across as a sex crazied maniac). #sexeducation #shestheadultimthechild #sheknowsmorethanme #dontaskaboutmasturbationorilldie #ivedoneitloads #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #parenting

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on Nov 10, 2016 at 1:02pm PST

We can't keep up with how funny the everyday moments with children really are.