Family Life

Dad explains why he doesn't 'help out' at home- and it actually makes sense

Does your other half "help-out" around the house? Does it constantly seem that you're constantly doing housework, yet they make a scene about bringing out the bins? 

Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but it's still a well-document fact that women tend to take on more of the housework load. 

And that's something that Brad Kearns, dad-blogger behind DaDMuM, acknowledged in a recent Facebook post. 

"One of the worst habits I've developed over 10 years of being together is that I actually do 'help out' at home."

Eh, what? Let's hear the man out for a second. 

He realises that when his wife, Sarah, is at work, he could be doing more around the house. 

"When Sarah’s at work and I’m at home I spend the day thinking 'I should do this' or 'I should do that' to make her life easier. She often asks for little things to get done and sometimes I just forget.

"A lot of our little bickers come from simple daily tasks that I'm pretty sh*t with and sometimes go undone. You can literally see the frustration because after a decade all she sees is that I still don't get it. I'm definitely not perfect… just ask her." 

So he's not perfect, but who is, but that doesn't leave him exempt from taking up a sweeping brush. 

Sometimes, he'll do a massive clean to try and make up for his lack of daily cleaning. 

"Whenever I do a massive clean and she comes downstairs; I try not to mention anything but secretly I want her to know how much I’ve done and how great the house looks. She always acknowledges it because she's a better person than me. I don't know why I do that."

Instead of expecting praise, he's going to take a different approach: 

"It’s not that I shouldn't help; It's both of our homes, both of our family and both of our responsibility.

"Doing housework isn't helping her. It's not for her to acknowledge or issue praise and it's certainly not for me to hand the rest over to her and clock off when she's back.

"It's literally just doing what I should be doing. I shouldn't need her to think for me and ask me to do things when she’s not there. I should have thought of it myself." 

Fine, he's back on our good books again. 

"She doesn't want me to be perfect.  She doesn't want the house to be immaculate.  She doesn't even want us to do an even amount because it's impossible with the hours I work.

"She literally just wants to see me care about our little home as much as she does." 

His parting words of advice for dads? 

"Don't try to help out more. Just try to care more." 

Dads are not there to 'help-out', they're there to to share the responsibility of running a house and raising a family. So hit him with that the next time he leaves socks on the bathroom floor. 

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