Family Life

Asking guilt to 'get f****d' is how one woman knew she was a good mum

All too often when mums have a few minutes to themselves, the guilt creeps in. 

You spend the entire day ploughing through, but when the kids are in bed, that elusive half hour before you nod off is spent feeling guilty. 

Guilty for giving out about the kids today, for not allowing them have a play-date, for asking them to eat their dinner, or giving them sweets instead – you're a terrible parent. 

Emma Lou Harris, is a mum-of-two, who can relate to this problem on a larger scale than she wants to admit, but she has discovered something we all need to pay attention to. 

Explaining each and every mums day, our heads are fuzzy trying to keep up: "The kids were shits today. You were extra tired. They were extra work. They painted the dog."

"They tested you. They pushed you. They taunted you. They threw tantrums. They won. You're grieving the life you had before kids. You wish you could go out. You need 10 minutes alone. You were sick of the noise."

"You lost your cool. You gave out. You cried. You made the kids cry. […] You simply said no to it," but Emma Lou understands. 

The mum-of-two knows this is a normal day on the rollercoaster of motherhood, but she can also see that guilt creeping up when she takes five. 

"Guilt. That f****r. He turns up, unannounced, uninvited and unwilling to piss off when asked politely."

But this mum has a message for all the mums who struggle with guilt: "YOU are NOT a bad mother. You know how I know that? You allow guilt in."

Emma realises that herself, and many other mothers, allow guilt to walk into their life and judge them on a daily basis.

Perhaps because of those extra sweets you gave, or because you disciplined them and stuck your ground, but she too knows it's time to stop. 

"Well, politely ask guilt to get f****d."

"Your children, those soft skinned, manipulative, and precious little demons, are in bed now and they are not feeling guilt. They have not welcomed guilt in as punishment for being Lucifer's Nephew today."

"They are in bed, feeling loved and guided and thankful to have a mother who cares so much. YOU are doing your job just right. Believe it."

We can't argue with Emma Lou on this, the fact we consider guilt just proves how much we care, but it's time to let it go – you are doing an excellent job! 

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