Family Life

This note for parents is the most important thing you'll read today

Expectations for family life after the birth of a newborn, especially your first, are normally centred around calmness. 

But family life doesn't work like what we see on our TV screens.

Bringing a child into your life brings an unending joy and love that will never leave your heart – but don't be fooled, because it also brings upheaval. 

Chaos ensues; sleep deprivation, a laundry pile that tips the roof and not enough hours in the day for pumping. 

And too often we see that chaos take centre stage, dampening the spirits of the once hopeful and energetic parents. 

However, an anonymous writer on Ayrshire Maternity Facebook has melted our hearts with it's excellent take on life with a newborn. 

The letter begins by asking Mummy and Daddy to keep the piece safe, so every once in a while it will serve as a reminder when things get tough. 

"Please don't expect too much from me as a newborn baby, or too much from yourselves as parents. Give us both six weeks as a birthday present."

"Six weeks for me to grow, develop, mature, and become more stable and predictable – six weeks for you to rest and relax and allow your body to get back to normal."

The note asks for parents to feed a baby when hungry as the feeling is new to them – they didn't have hunger in the womb, and the new bub certainly doesn't understand time yet. 

Cuddles, kisses and stroking all feature as the letter calls on parents to remember that in the womb your baby was held close, having never been alone before. 

"Please forgive me if I cry a lot. I am not a tyrant who was sent to make your life miserable, the only way I can tell you I am not happy is with my cry, bear with me."

"Please remember that I am resilient and can withstand the many natural mistakes you’ll make with me. As long as you make them with love, I cannot be harmed."

But most importantly it calls upon parents to not be disappointed when their newborn bliss expectation doesn't meet reality, and to stop criticising themselves when they're not the 'perfect parent'. 

Requesting all parents care for themselves, believing a balanced diet, rest and exercise are the keys to having patience and energy to take care of a baby. 

"The cure for a fussy baby is more rest for Mum."

Concluding, the letter asks parents to keep a quite notable factor in mind, because it can be something which we lose sight of when our expectation is acutely distorted. 

"Keep the 'big picture' in mind. I’ll be like this for a very short time, though it seems like forever to you now. Although I may have turned your life upside down, please remind yourselves that things will be back to normal before long."

It will eventually reach your new normal. Having a baby changes everything, but family will always be the same, no matter how crazy it all might seem. 

Search results for
View all