Is it normal for my toddler to be shy?

If your toddler clings to your legs whenever you go out, or hides his face when someone tries to make conversation, there is no need to worry. Toddler shyness is quite common.

At this age, children are still developing their very basic social skills, and learning how to deal with situations where mum, dad and siblings are not the only people around.

As your toddler meets more kids and attends more play dates and birthday parties, this shyness naturally goes away. As every child is different, this process can take a bit longer for some, but you can also help your tot come out of his shell at his own pace.

First of all, avoid labels and never call your toddler “shy”. They will believe it and keep on acting accordingly  or even hide behind this trait to avoid uncomfortable situations. If other people comment on your child’s less outgoing ways, just say “she prefers to watch situations first”.

It also helps putting yourself in your child’s place. The worst thing for a shy kid is to be forced to engage in situations with or answer questions from adults, so don’t insist on it. Comparing your toddler to more extroverted children will also only embarrass them and cause your child to withdraw even more.

To help your kid leave the shy days behind, it is better to start small. Plan one-on-one play dates with children they are more comfortable with, like a cousin or a neighbour. Leave the bossy, aggressive and loud children aside for now.

Some kids prefer to play with younger friends, while others like to follow someone’s lead. Keep this in mind and your toddler’s playgroup will get gradually bigger.

Birthday parties filled with children may turn into the toddler’s worst social nightmare. Some preparation time will help lower their anxiety, but there is no need to scare them with lots of information; give your child the basic facts, like what will happen there, such as playing and eating cake. Arriving early is also a good idea, since joining a crowd can be intimidating.

If your child still prefers to hide in a corner, don’t be afraid to help break the ice with the other kids. Suggest a new toy or an activity and join in the fun. Remember to make an strategic exit as soon as your tot feels comfortable and he will have the time of his life.