What is my baby trying to tell me?

Before they learn how to talk, babies use cues to communicate with their mums and dads. Although it may take a while to understand a baby’s non-verbal language, if you look closely, you’d be surprised by what you find.

Very young babies can give clear signs of when they want to interact, when they want to take a break from playing or when they want to eat.

Responding to a baby’s cues correctly will help them develop a sense of trust and form a secure attachment to their parents, which is very important for later emotional development and relationships.

Responding to babies when they are in need will help them learn ‘emotional regulation,’ which is the capacity to understand that we can control our emotions.

As a mum soothes an upset baby, the baby learns that when they are upset, they can calm down. When signs are ignored, the baby fails to develop the understanding that his or her emotions can be regulated.

Here are a few of the most common baby cues.

Feeding time

A baby often gives subtle cues of when he or she is hungry. They make sucking noises or suck on their fists as an indication that it is time for a feed.

Crying – the most obvious cue – is usually a late indication and when mums repeatedly wait until a baby cries before feeding them, they are setting themselves on a path to unnecessary problems.

Play time

When a baby wants to play, their eyes usually become wide and bright and arm and leg movements will be smooth rather than jerky.

As babies attempt to tell you it’s play time, they might hold on to your fingers or try to grab on to you. When parents respond, babies will make eye contact and smile. These ‘engagement cues’ are a baby’s way of saying, ‘Please play with me’

Quiet time

When a baby needs a break from what he or she is doing, they will give very clear ‘disengaging’ signals, such as turning their head away, squirming or kicking, coughing, spitting up or arching her back. Some babies will even put up their hand in a sort of ‘stop’ sign.

Sleepy time

When mum misses the opportunity to put her baby to sleep, their little one will become grumpy and find it difficult to settle.

Keep an eye out for your baby losing interest in things, making jerking movements, rubbing their eyes or ears and frowning – these are usually clear indicators that it’s time for baby to close their eyes.