19 signs your child is actually a hipster
Have you ever thought, hmm, I wonder why my child insists on wearing shoes made from Tibetan yak’s leather? Or why the only fruit they’ll eat is the South East Asian rambutan?
It could very well be that your child is a hipster. Not sure? Well the easy way to find out is to go through our 19 tell-tale signs:
1. They demand organic quinoa and buckwheat – rice is too mainstream.
2. Avocado is their favourite food.
3. You keep buying them lovely, cute clothes but they insists on wearing that ugly, oversized woolly jumper their auntie knitted for them.
4. They call breakfast and lunch ‘brunch 1’ and ‘brunch 2’
5. They can’t stand Frozen. Instead their favourite film is a little known Japanese animation from the 1970s.
6. Ordinary plates are too passé for them. Instead they insist on eating off their Etch a Sketch.
7. Their crèche bag is covered with badges of obscure children’s programmes that WE would never have heard of.
8. They tell their friends that they heard of Kung Fu Panda long before anyone else did. And now that it’s popular they’ve decided they hate it.
9. Their favourite way to spend a Saturday is kid’s yoga followed by a Starbucks babycino.
10. They eat Weetabix, but in an ironic way.
11. They insist on wearing trendy scarves, even in summer.
12. And they are way, way are too fond of head gear.
13. They keep telling you’re they’re ‘an artist’ even though the only thing they’ve painted is a brown splodge. On your wall.
14. They keep stealing your iPhone.
15. Kale is their second favourite food.
16. They’ve inexplicably started to use words like ‘ecumenical’ and ‘dispiriting’ and ‘salient’. They’re five years old.
17. Instead of Barney and Peppa Pig they’re name dropping the likes of Sartre and Nietzsche.
18. They’ve asked if their birthday present can be a donation to an irrigation project in Africa.
19. Bill Murray is their spirit animal.