'The same emotions': Dad explains how miscarriage made him feel

When it comes to the pain and devastation of miscarriage, we usually hear the mum’s perspective – but there’s no doubt about it: dads’ voices need to be heard too.

So with that in mind, brave dad Al Ferguson decided to share his story in a bid to show the effect miscarriages have on men – and why dads need to talk about how they feel.

Al and his wife Jen have been through a lot, suffering three miscarriages, with one even happening the day before their wedding day.

So in an incredibly candid video, Al talks about how he feels, holding nothing back.

“Dads have the same emotions,” he says in the video. “They have the same experience except the physical side of miscarriage – it has to be a focus on both mum and dad for dealing and coping with miscarriage.”

Poignantly, the start of the video shows Jen’s pregnancy reveal – and the joy the parents feel at the prospect of becoming parents again, but by the end of it, they are in hospital, as Jen undergoes a ‘surgical management of miscarriage’.

“On top of the fact I am grieving the loss of a baby I really, desperately wanted, just knowing what Jen is dealing with is making me feel completely and utterly helpless,” Al says in the video, as he sits in the hospital while Jen is in theatre.

But although he isn’t physically hurting, the miscarriages have had an emotional effect on him. And after trying unsuccessfully to hold it together, he decided he had to let it all out.

“We went through a day or two where I was just carrying on,” he says. “And then I thought I can’t anymore let’s just have the conversation, let’s both just cry about it.

Now Al wants to encourage other men who have been through the same thing to talk honestly about their feelings.

“I think that Jen found it so useful to know what I was feeling, because otherwise I think she would have felt completely isolated,” he says.

“Just having bridged that gap and being open and honest then about something so deep and so big – it opened the gates to me being open and honest about everything and our relationship has benefitted drastically from it.”