Milly77 wrote:
once again thanks for advice. unless you are in the situation it's hard to understand alot of this kind of trouble.
If I do separate I am sentencing my kids to a pretty miserable life {unless He gets his way it will be unbearable} IF I don't I not sure how I can go on like this anymore.
No you are not necessarily sentencing your kids to a miserable life.
Financially, you might be quite ok - if he is in a good job with good salary, then it's quite possible that he can afford to pay for you and the kids to live in a decent house with decent maintenance coming in. It might well be more than some MMs are living on as a complete family.
I clearly don't know your financial situation, but this is possible.
And, emotionally, well, it won't be fun for them, but like many kids I'm sure they will adjust. They could quite probably grow up less scarred than watching their parents living through a nightmareish marriage where their mother is slowly losing her mind due to trust issues.
It is now 7 months on from your last thread and you are STILL fixating on this lady in the office being the root cause of your marriage problems.
She is not - your DH and/or you are the root cause of your marriage problems, as it is you two who are in the marriage.
On your wedding day, it was not this lady who stood beside you and made solemn marriage vows... it was your DH standing there making those vows.
So this lady owes you NOTHING.
So what if she likes to sleep with married men? Not exactly an admirable trait in any person, but it's not illegal - she is entitled to do what she wants.
It is the
married man (men) that she is sleeping with who should chose not to cheat on their wives. Even if she strips down to her underwear and gives your DH a lap dance in his office, he is married and if he decides to sleep with her he is making that choice of his own free will.
A man cannot be seduced into cheating if he does not want to do so.
(And, of course, it may well be the case that it is your DH who is doing all the chasing with this woman, and not the other way around).
If your DH is cheating and has cheated on you then he clearly wants to do so.
And, your DH is right about one thing... if he had an affair with this woman and then dismisses her from employment because his wife can't trust him in her presence then yes, she WOULD have a case for unfair dismissal.
Stop acting like an immature teenage girl, blaming some other woman in the office for your husbands philandering... you owe it to your children to stand up and act like a grown up. decide if you can trust him or not, if you want to be married to him or not, if you can make your marriage work or not etc etc and then start taking some actions.
But, letting him away with this time after time and then coming on internet forums moaning and complaining about some lady in his office place is a pointless exercise, and it's a waste of your time and energy. You would be better placed to direct some of that energy towards making some long term plans for you and your children.
If you want to leave, get some legal advice and take it from there.
Best of luck to you.
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nobody is saying this girl is a lovely girl but what people are saying is you should not give a crap about her, you should not be even be thinking about her. He has done this to your family no one else, he is the one to blame.
this smiley says it all . Your husband was signed up to a site for married people looking to cheat . Come on like please tell me that you still don't blame the women. If it wasn't her it was going to be someone else . Answer me this do you honestly thing your dh wants the marriage to work . Have you asked him straight what he wants , the more I read the more frustrated I get here. You need to make some decisions move on forget about this women or leave . I have no idea what your culture actually is and I have no idea what the Celtic tiger has to do with any of it . I have been in your position and as all posters on here are saying if it wasnt her it would be someone else .
