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Hi There, I have a 15 year old teenager who is being a complete nightmare. He is doing his junior cert this June and has just completed his mocks. To be honest he didn't do that well in them and did better in his Christmas tests than his mocks. He has developed a really bad attitude towards me, and laughs and dismisses what I say. Having spoken to his piers in school they have said that he is too laid back and if he doesn't buck up he will-fail. He has also developed a horrible attitude towards me, which I cannot stand and he smirks at me when I telling him off. He seams to think its funny. He is not studying but tells me he is and is not producing hiss homework now in school either. He is also being very controling to his younger sibling and it feels like we are fighting and disagreeing over absolutely everything lately. I've grounded him and taken his computer games from him and now his sibling is getting stressed over it!!! I'm a single parent trying my best to cope here.......can anyone advise???He keeps telling me he is sorry but nothing is changing! I'm really at my tether now and don't know what else to do?

My 15 year old sister is the same with my Mam at the moment, mam doesn't know what to do with her.All you can do is your best and hopefully the shock of failing exams will be enough to motivate him. I think the attitude Is part and parcel of being a teenager.they test boundaries.id be worried about the younger sibling. Do you have a brother or dad that can talk to him about controlling his sibling.? Oh and my brother was an absolute nightmare as a teen , got suspended, done drugs, used to be so aggressive to my mother and he is now a lovely 25 year old who is back in college ,plays sport for the county ,has a lovely place and an amazing girlfriend. I'm not saying you're son is like that I just mean they do come out of their teen phases

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Mam to a 7 year old little big man and an amazing 18 month preemie!

deleted as double posted

There are some really good threads at the moment on rollercoaster and difficult teenagers. Maybe worth you having a look.
Dont be disheartened by his attidude. It really is all down to his age. anyway, RC will probably help. Its got some really good tips on there from other mums that have been through it.

Not much help to say its all down to his age but thats ultimately what it is. I remember watching a supernanny type programme before and the parents were having an awful time wit their teenage son giving them such an attitude so she told them to turn things around for a few days and see how the teen appreciates being spoken to in the same manner or being ignored etc. In that particular instance it really worked and the young lad got to see things from a different perspective. I'm not sure how easy it would be to stick to for a couple of days but I thought it was a good idea because the more u fight with teens usually the more they go against u. Might be worth giving it a go so every time he asks u something ignore him, as in make him ask u 3 or 4 times the way I imagine u have to, every time he speaks to u about something pretend u couldnt give a toss etc and then explain that thats exactly how it feels for u and hopefully he'll see sense and buck up his ideas and the school work will follow.. . good luck!

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MOTHERHEN

is this behaviour usual for him? Could it be that he is behaving this way to cover his fear/stress/worry over exams? It may well be he is scared and doesn't know what to do about it or how to handle it. Could you ask him if there is anything you can do that would help him manage the stress of studying/exams. Even to let him know you understand what a worrying time it can be. If he feels you get where he's coming from it may well help ease the behaviour. On a practical level I'm not sure what to suggest. I haven't teenagers myself. I know that all children respond to positivity and reinforcement. Is there anything he does that really helps you around the house? Let him know how much that means to you - how responsible he is, etc. If he feels that his good points are being seen it may make the corrections of his other behaviour easier to bear.

This could all be pie in the sky - as I said I haven't had to deal with teenagers but I remember from being one how scary and worrying exam stress can be.

Good luck with it.

Lami

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Save the Earth, it's the only planet with Chocolate

Snugglemum would you have any male relative or close friend that could have a word with him. if you don't then I think removing phone, computer & elec games (phone usually works here ) & groundings as each situation arises but try not to argue, enforce the punishment & leave it at that. Ignore his smart comments & body gestures. But stick rigidly to the punishments if you can. I know this is not easy.

It's a tough age, they would try the patience of a saint and its even harder if your doing it on your own.

Hope he settles down soon for u.