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Hi all,

My best friend asked me to be bridemaid yesterday for her wedding in Dec. We have been TTC since late last year but not properly just taking easy & seeing what happens but we decided to temp, opk & do SMEP this month to increase our chances of BFP this month as we would like our baba before year is out. I know can not plan that but would be our dream come true.

WHAT DO I DO. If I was to get BFP this month I would be due babs within days of the wedding so definitely would not be able to go. She does not know we are TTC so of course I had to say yes yesterday when I was asked.

Would you put off your TTC plans for the sake of your friends wedding. I dont think I can but would I be the most awful person to turn around in 2 months time and say actually I am pregnant & can not go to your wedding!! My head is all over the place, I dont want to seem selfish but myself and DP feels this is just the right time for us and I do not think I can just switch off TTC for a year. Ill be devastated so I would really like your advice or has anyone had similar experience of family event that made them reconsider TTC plans.

well depending on w here the wedding is you might be able to attend but not do the bridesmaid duties. wait and see, she'll have plenty of notice to get a stand in if necessary!

good luck ttc

Why can't you go if your pregnant? I've seen loads of pregnant bridesmaids.

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Summer Babes

If it were me I would just go with the flow. Whatever happens,happens.

Wedding is in Dublin so close by. I worked out my due date if I was to get BFP this month and it would be 3 days before wedding lol.

I know its our first so probably would go late anyway. Id be prob like a whale...

I would not mind if I was 5-6 months but what if I was 8 months preg, dont think I could then!!

Exactly that.
Wait and see.
Carry on with your plans an if it takes few months more then you'll still be able to at least attend and maybe even do bridesmaid.
If it happens straight away for ye then she'll have loads of time to get a replacement.
Cross the bridge when you come to it.

Best of Luck

PS No I wouldnt put my TTC plans on hold in that situation. Its no like its going to ruin the day if you cant be bridesmaid. There again, I was older TTC and time was a big issue. Maybe its not for you.

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DD1/9
DS/7
DD2/2
Much longed for angels we never got to hold in this world.

I had to put off TTC because of a wedding abroad of a close relative, which I didn't mind. As it happened I was 8 months flying, cut it very fine indeed! But to be honest in this case I think I would wait the month so I could at least attend the wedding....although you could attend at 9 months but not ideal. I wouldn't care about the bridesmaid aspect. I'd start trying again next month, if you hit bingo then you'd be 8 months preg, very much able to attend but maybe not as a bridesmaid. If she has other bridesmaids I think it would be fine to suggest you step out, I've had friends in the same situation.

But I am really not sure. Depends on how much you want to be there on her big day, might be worth holding off one month to keep in the safezone.

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DS1 - 7 --- DS2 - 4 ---DS3 - 9mths

Thanks girls I did feel that myself. Now I do not have any time pressures but do not feel that me being pregnant is going to ruin the day like I am sure she can find a replacement. I have to put my life first and to put if off over one day would kill me I think. We are so happy TTC at the moment and do not want to stop for anything Our relationship has to come first

Yea cupcake, you just never know when it's going to happen. I was TTC on my 2nd and very casual about the start date so it wasn't such a big deal to put it off, but I know when you are in full swing it's torture to put it off. Myself I'd probably joke that you hope you don't have to be rolled up the aisle as you are hoping... if you have that kind of relationship! There is always someone that can't make weddings with a brand new baby or whatever, my own best pal couldn't make mine.

Good luck!

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DS1 - 7 --- DS2 - 4 ---DS3 - 9mths

Agree that you shouldn't postpone TTC. Even if you are 9 months pregnant, you can probably still go to the wedding at least for part of the day, although bridesmaid duties might be a bit much!! A friend of ours got married last summer and our other friend was there, 4 days before her due date, stayed til midnight and did plenty of dancing too! I say play it by ear for now.

Thanks girls, you are all just confirming what I have been thinking anyway