MagicMum.com

We have three kids - I have one from a previous relationship, when she was 7 DD2 was born, 21 months later DS was born. DS is nearly 6 months old now. As you can imagine we get very little time together alone. In a couple of weeks we are getting away for a weekend - I forget the last one. I am so bloody excited, I will feel like a teenager! I am that pathetic I'm even looking forward to the drive there . But I was feeling guilty about going, and it just dawned on me this evening that we really need a bit of time together, the kids are always put first but I think our marriage needs a bit of TLC for a change.

Are we the only ones who make no time for ourselves?


{I probably have just jinxed the whole thing and one of them will be sick or something and we'll have to stay at home}

We have spent one night together away from our children and that was a 'necessity' as it was a wedding,a 3 hour drive away from home with a children ban!!

I would love a weekend away just as a couple but it'll be in another two years or so before I feel I could justify it to myself We had a funeral recently to attend and in laws put the children to bed so we could attend the removal, then the next day we were gone again by 11am to attend the funeral mass, we got home again by 5pm and both children were a little upset during the day that we were gone for so long from them, they were having fun with their grandparents but still wanted us around, I think they are too young yet for us to be away for any decent length!

We do spend time together in the evening, children are asleep by 8pm usually so we have some time then, sometimes it is taken up with chores like tidying/ironing but once a week we have a dinner together ourselves once the children are asleep. We were taking turns and cooking something elaborate for that meal but we've kind of gone a little lazy on that now and just cook something quick. It is nice to be able to spend time talking without being parents, when baby is born I'll also love getting to enjoy a glass or two of red while we natter

_________________

Myself and DP are together 16 years and have only been away together a handful of times...mainly at weddings. With 3 kids and relying on my family to help with childcare I wouldnt ask them to look after them for a weekend away. We are getting married in June and having 3 nights away just by ourselves cant wait. Usualy me and Dp just eat and watch TV together or our new favourite watching you tube funnies in bed...

Every weekend I say - tonight we'll cook something nice and the two of us will sit and eat together and have a bit of time. And without fail the kids turn into lunatics and it falls by the wayside

ATM we have every Sunday 11-7 together (kids go to my parents) that will change when baby comes & is too young to go
We also have a few weekends or overnights a year & the last 3 years we've gone to Spain for a week
Without kids.

NO mammy guilt here but I know without great friends & family we wouldn't have so much 'us time'

_________________
'Never frown, even when you are sad,
because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile. '
EDD 10/12/08 became an angel 21.4.08
EDD 8/5/09 became an angel 29.9.08
EDD 29/7/09 became an angel 8.1.09

We never get time together. Even within the house. When dd goes to sleep without fail she wakes up at some stage and won't go back to sleep unless I sit with her.

Actually I tell a lie, we work for the same company and the odd day we could be in the same office as each other!

_________________

No, dh away for work a lot. Dd1 is nearly 13, so she stays up late. No family around to mind the kids..so no never.

-

No, the only time DH and I have together is when we have to go to funerals. Due to shift work, we'd see each other a bit more because I'm a sahm, and the kids are in school. But going out is something we haven't done since last summer.

_________________
''If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, then baffle them with your bullshit'' - WC Fields

Very little.I work nights and he works days.Also our children are from 7 up to 18 so always someone wandering around the house!

We do get a couple of weekends away a year though and that keeps us going.

_________________
Mini-*mum to 5*


Very Proud of My Large Family


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

We've 2 small kids. dp works away mon-fri so & we've nobody to mind them at the weekends. So o Fri night we get takeaway/dvd & chill together when the boys are in bed. sat night I head out with the girls as I don't get a break all week & again sun evening we have some time together. but no we never get any time out of the house away from the kids.

_________________
Proud mammy to 2 wonderful boys
ds1 is 6
ds2 is 23mths

Yes, I always make time for us as a couple and also for me on my own away from the kids. I know I'm in the minority here on MM in my thinking, but I can go away for a few days with only a fleeting thought for the kids. I'm lucky to have family nearby, but there's times we pay a babysitter too. Or I mind my friends kids and then she'll mind mine in return.

_________________
1 big boy, 13
1 small boy, 8
1 tiny boy, 3

+1

_________________

I'm in the same minority as you so. I think it is just as important to spend alone time with my DH as it is to spend time with my children.

We try and get a couple of nights away together every year. I miss my kids but they are fine and I get over missing them very fast.

I was looking at DH conked out in bed asleep the other night and I thought to myself 'God I hardly know you anymore'. One of us is always wrecked, or the kids are sick or something else is going on. We need to make time. I miss him!

_________________
DD1-5; DD2- 3

we go out maybe once a month, very important. dh works all the hours god sends even when he is sitting across from me in the living room.
it's been a year since we've been away together but hope to get away in july for a weekend. must ask my mum to mind them...

I know that feeling....except for the kids being sick bit!!

_________________
Mom to Ben & Amy

Its not that we don't want to spend time together here. Love getting out but genuinely have nobody to mind them. I feel it very important to have time together & we do but its at home I also don't feel a bit guilty having some time away one night a week from the boys. Its a long week & especially with dp not being here to help out duirng the week. Feel time alone is as important as time with dp / boys.

_________________
Proud mammy to 2 wonderful boys
ds1 is 6
ds2 is 23mths

I agree with the above. We make it a priority to have some time alone both together and individually.

Trust me its not for lack of trying but as the children are older and with us working shifts its not that easy.

_________________
Mini-*mum to 5*


Very Proud of My Large Family


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

We do get to spend lots of time together as a couple but we only have one dd so it's easier for us. I sort of have 2 families and they alternating taking dd overnight, I don't get a say in this, they are obsessed with her!! Then dh's parents love minding her and taking her for days out.

I can't say that I don't think of her when she's not with me, I do, and I miss her terribly but she loves being around her family and having that much attention lavished on her.

I also think it's really really important for dh and I to have our separate time from each other. It's only healthy.

We very rarely get time together as a couple, we used to go out a few years back but we stopped due to a number of reasons.
Now though, we've got our act together again and we make the effort to get out, just for a few hours for a meal and a drink on an odd Saturday night.
As regards to getting away overnight as a couple, it hasn't happened in almost 10 years, and it probably won't for a long time yet. We don't have family support that would take the children overnight, nor would we have the money to pay someone to mind them that long, and I suppose more importantly, we, as a couple, don't see the real need to get away for that long from the kids!

We're pretty much the same at this, right down to only having one dd & my parents dote on her and are obsessed with her. I also have one very close friend who would happily have dd overnight and dd loves going there as my friends dd is the exact same age.

I meet with friends in dublin several times a year (or other places) and dh stays at home with dd and vice versa. I think it is important and a good thing to have some 'adult' time and I would really miss it. Having said that I did not leave her overnight till she was over 2 as she was still bf'ing then.

I also see a lot of dh during the days as he is self employed and often works from home and we might grab a coffee etc in town together. We spend the majority of our time together or as a family so it's nice to have some time with friends too.

Nope. We went for a meal on Friday in the hope of some quality time and my in laws and BIL turned up afterwards for a drink. We went to a local pub which my FIL deemed 'too noisy' so he dragged us to a local club where the bar closed 30 minutes after we arrived and then we went home. Fail.