No great advice, sorry, but I'd imagine most judges have seen a lot over the years and are very good at seeing through people like him.
I would do anything to stay out of court TBH I have been down the court road before and am in limbo at the moment if you've seen my other thread but my situation is very different. Over the last few weeks I have been thinking a lot about my exes behaviour though. I think he should either want to see his child - or not. I have another child and am still with his father and my DP says if we split up he would run through fire to see his son, whereas my ex doesn't want to see DD. He badmouths me round the town (we live in a small town) and gives everyone he talks to a big "oh poor me" story but he's had more chances than he deserved and proved then that he didn't give a s**t.
I'm guessing your ex thinks that by going to see your DD when he has his other child with him is that it's a way for him of "filling in the time" that he has to
spend with his other child because of the court order
And maybe he thinks it will be good for both children to know one another. He probably thinks he's getting off lightly in that he doesn't have to put in too much effort with either child if they just play together.
ETA to answer your question, you technically can deny him access but you could end up in court over it and it could get very messy and expensive
However, you could occasionally have something to do on the days he proposes coming round, so he couldn't expect that you will always bend over backwards to accommodate him.
_________________DD 2001DS 2007#3 ETA Autumn 2013Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many
Life is an ocean, love is a boat, in troubled water, it keeps us afloat