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Just want some opinions DHs bro and wife had baby no 2 10 days ago (DH is to be Godfather) we were invited on Mon with all DHs side but as my DS had vomitting bug last Thurs I thought it better to stay away,although he was better I was afraid my 2DDS might get it too....so arranged with sister-in-law to go out today after school...DH rang this morn to confirm and his bro said his inlaws were there and wed have to leave it till later on...DH explained DD has training and we would only stay half hr...basically brother-in law said NO ....DH works shift and wont be able to out till later nxt week...but hes livid now...theres a history of one family being put first as it is...he asked me not to get involved as I get on very well with sister-in-law....so who is being unreasonable ?

ah come on the baby is 10 days old and you want reasonable

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I agree.

It took me 3 weeks to be able to just go with the flow after DD was born, before that I felt a lot of things were outside my control, so I controlled what I could, visitors were one of those things

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The smallest boy is 3
The bigger boy is 4
They have a little baby sister

are you for real?
you want them to suit you?
ah come on,this is a non issue.call over another time and dont make a big deal of it.

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you can't pull yourself together until you've fallen apart.

If I already had visitors and was asked about more coming I'd probably ask them to put it off too. If I was asked to postpone not sure I'd get too upset , but if there is history there maybe that is why you are reacting like you are

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"I guess that's just the circle of life: our parents faked their way through it,you fake your way through it and hopefully you don't raise a serial killer" Phil Dunphy - Modern Family

Thanks for replies....so its DH over-reacting...

She who has had the baby calls the shots. The 11th Commandment that Moses forgot (and only because he'd never had a baby or he'd have put it first).

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Mum to three summer babies ... 2000, 2005, 2008.

yes he seems to have no concern about how tired they are. I could only cope with one set of visitors in a day so give them a break.

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If robbers ever broke into our house to search for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.

In fairness your bil might be stressed because his in laws or over. Or the baby might be cranky. Or a thousand other reasons that don't mean one family is prioritized over another.

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can't figure out how to change my ticker but i'm 2 kg down. woo hoo. slow but steady.

I didn't do reasonable for at least 6 weeks before and after each of my Children were born and I wouldn't expect anybody else to either.

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[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

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Id say they are just trying to limit visitors until they have a routine down. Its hard as they already have visitors over already. No one is wrong Id just rearrange it. She might try and have a nap when they go and is tired but wont say. There is load of time to see the baby.

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Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.

Ill have a little chat with him ,show him the errors of his way...stubborness not one of his better quailities

Honestly do not see the problem

DH is annoyed that after asking us to call ASAP ,arranging day and time that we aren't welcome when her parents are there..... That's all really

This happened to my mum recently. She was about to visit my cousin who had a baby & cousin told her not to come up becasue she had visitors. My mum is of the drop in anytime anywhere era & thought it was shockingly bad manners. I told her I would much prefer to be told that as I hate landing somewhere when there are other people there.

I'm sure she would rather have one set of visitors per day & not have you rushing over for half an hour & then the other crowd to land then. It sounds exhausting even to me!

I'm already exhausted thinking about visitors coming to see the baby and I've not even had it yet. I had no visitors for months - the poor mum being put under pressure like that and the baby is only 10days old FFS!!

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Mammy to the Monster, born 30th December 2007 at 30+2, weighing 1.29kg

Mammy to the Farticle, born full-term on 11th June 2012, weighing 4.14kg

so i've just had a baby and i had said to you to call over thursday.you ring me and say you are going to drop over and i say 'oh my parents are here can you call over later'.which is all they did, it doesn't suit you to call later so you just rearrange.
i really don't see the problem with that and don't think anyone i know would have an issue with it either.of course your sil puts her own parents above your dh,especially concerning the birth of their child/grandchild.is your dh really competing for more attention then his brothers wife's parents.this is heading in only one direction-a family fallout and it isn't worth it.

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you can't pull yourself together until you've fallen apart.

I dont think you should tell your DH that he is over reacting...just brush it off and say you will see the baby next week.

If you have had two children you understand what its like..they couldnt probably say no to her parents but he was comfortable saying no to his brother..doesnt sound like ye had far to travel anyway. I dont know what ages your kids are but they sound older than small babies anyway so its possible your DH was the exact same when his three chidlren were born..just doesnt remember it

text them to tell them that youd love to see the baby and will give a shout next week when the shifts allow..sounds like it was stressfull for both men!.

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skelly1, for a minute there I thought you were "the SIL" and I was thinking "ooh this is going to get nasty"

you wish, that would make for some reading!!

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you can't pull yourself together until you've fallen apart.

I'm surprised that someone that's already a parent of 2 children had no empathy for someone with a 10 day old baby and then gets in a huff over being asked not to come. He needs to get over himself.

Because some people sail through it. When my DS was 1 week old a mother of 4 called here with her 4 children, and then fucked off into the neighbours house leaving the 4 children with me

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DD 2001
DS 2007
#3 ETA Autumn 2013

Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many

Life is an ocean, love is a boat, in troubled water, it keeps us afloat

Agree.

After our babies arrived, the grandparents visits trumped the extended family members visits hands down.

In my case, I felt more relaxed looking like hell, the house being a state and not having a thing to offer them to eat etc when it was "only" his or my parents that were there whereas when our siblings arrived I felt obliged to be well turned out and have the house in some sort of order.