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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:04 pm 
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Just want some opinions DHs bro and wife had baby no 2 10 days ago (DH is to be Godfather) we were invited on Mon with all DHs side but as my DS had vomitting bug last Thurs I thought it better to stay away,although he was better I was afraid my 2DDS might get it too....so arranged with sister-in-law to go out today after school...DH rang this morn to confirm and his bro said his inlaws were there and wed have to leave it till later on...DH explained DD has training and we would only stay half hr...basically brother-in law said NO ....DH works shift and wont be able to out till later nxt week...but hes livid now...theres a history of one family being put first as it is...he asked me not to get involved as I get on very well with sister-in-law....so who is being unreasonable ?


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:08 pm 
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ah come on the baby is 10 days old and you want reasonable

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:11 pm 
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Newton wrote:
ah come on the baby is 10 days old and you want reasonable


I agree.

It took me 3 weeks to be able to just go with the flow after DD was born, before that I felt a lot of things were outside my control, so I controlled what I could, visitors were one of those things :blush:

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:12 pm 
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are you for real?
you want them to suit you?
ah come on,this is a non issue.call over another time and dont make a big deal of it.

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:13 pm 
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If I already had visitors and was asked about more coming I'd probably ask them to put it off too. If I was asked to postpone not sure I'd get too upset , but if there is history there maybe that is why you are reacting like you are

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:17 pm 
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Thanks for replies....so its DH over-reacting...


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:17 pm 
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She who has had the baby calls the shots. The 11th Commandment that Moses forgot (and only because he'd never had a baby or he'd have put it first).

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:25 pm 
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janemary wrote:
Thanks for replies....so its DH over-reacting...
yes he seems to have no concern about how tired they are. I could only cope with one set of visitors in a day so give them a break.

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:26 pm 
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In fairness your bil might be stressed because his in laws or over. Or the baby might be cranky. Or a thousand other reasons that don't mean one family is prioritized over another.

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:31 pm 
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I didn't do reasonable for at least 6 weeks before and after each of my Children were born and I wouldn't expect anybody else to either.

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:32 pm 
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Id say they are just trying to limit visitors until they have a routine down. Its hard as they already have visitors over already. No one is wrong Id just rearrange it. She might try and have a nap when they go and is tired but wont say. There is load of time to see the baby. :biggrin:

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:37 pm 
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LuckyMum wrote:
She who has had the baby calls the shots. The 11th Commandment that Moses forgot (and only because he'd never had a baby or he'd have put it first).

:biggrin:


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:41 pm 
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Ill have a little chat with him ,show him the errors of his way...stubborness not one of his better quailities


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:50 pm 
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Honestly do not see the problem :stupid:


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 3:46 pm 
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DH is annoyed that after asking us to call ASAP ,arranging day and time that we aren't welcome when her parents are there..... That's all really


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 4:08 pm 
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This happened to my mum recently. She was about to visit my cousin who had a baby & cousin told her not to come up becasue she had visitors. My mum is of the drop in anytime anywhere era & thought it was shockingly bad manners. I told her I would much prefer to be told that as I hate landing somewhere when there are other people there.

I'm sure she would rather have one set of visitors per day & not have you rushing over for half an hour & then the other crowd to land then. It sounds exhausting even to me!


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 4:18 pm 
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I'm already exhausted thinking about visitors coming to see the baby and I've not even had it yet. I had no visitors for months - the poor mum being put under pressure like that and the baby is only 10days old FFS!!

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 4:38 pm 
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janemary wrote:
DH is annoyed that after asking us to call ASAP ,arranging day and time that we aren't welcome when her parents are there..... That's all really


so i've just had a baby and i had said to you to call over thursday.you ring me and say you are going to drop over and i say 'oh my parents are here can you call over later'.which is all they did, it doesn't suit you to call later so you just rearrange.
i really don't see the problem with that and don't think anyone i know would have an issue with it either.of course your sil puts her own parents above your dh,especially concerning the birth of their child/grandchild.is your dh really competing for more attention then his brothers wife's parents.this is heading in only one direction-a family fallout and it isn't worth it.

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 4:42 pm 
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I dont think you should tell your DH that he is over reacting...just brush it off and say you will see the baby next week.

If you have had two children you understand what its like..they couldnt probably say no to her parents but he was comfortable saying no to his brother..doesnt sound like ye had far to travel anyway. I dont know what ages your kids are but they sound older than small babies anyway so its possible your DH was the exact same when his three chidlren were born..just doesnt remember it

text them to tell them that youd love to see the baby and will give a shout next week when the shifts allow..sounds like it was stressfull for both men!.

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 5:00 pm 
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skelly1 wrote:
janemary wrote:
DH is annoyed that after asking us to call ASAP ,arranging day and time that we aren't welcome when her parents are there..... That's all really


so i've just had a baby and i had said to you to call over thursday.you ring me and say you are going to drop over and i say 'oh my parents are here can you call over later'.which is all they did, it doesn't suit you to call later so you just rearrange.
i really don't see the problem with that and don't think anyone i know would have an issue with it either.of course your sil puts her own parents above your dh,especially concerning the birth of their child/grandchild.is your dh really competing for more attention then his brothers wife's parents.this is heading in only one direction-a family fallout and it isn't worth it.


skelly1, for a minute there I thought you were "the SIL" and I was thinking "ooh this is going to get nasty" :D


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 5:13 pm 
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Kooky wrote:
skelly1 wrote:
janemary wrote:
DH is annoyed that after asking us to call ASAP ,arranging day and time that we aren't welcome when her parents are there..... That's all really


so i've just had a baby and i had said to you to call over thursday.you ring me and say you are going to drop over and i say 'oh my parents are here can you call over later'.which is all they did, it doesn't suit you to call later so you just rearrange.
i really don't see the problem with that and don't think anyone i know would have an issue with it either.of course your sil puts her own parents above your dh,especially concerning the birth of their child/grandchild.is your dh really competing for more attention then his brothers wife's parents.this is heading in only one direction-a family fallout and it isn't worth it.


skelly1, for a minute there I thought you were "the SIL" and I was thinking "ooh this is going to get nasty" :D


:lol: :lol:
you wish, that would make for some reading!!

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 7:58 pm 
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I'm surprised that someone that's already a parent of 2 children had no empathy for someone with a 10 day old baby and then gets in a huff over being asked not to come. He needs to get over himself.


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 8:08 pm 
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Deisemum wrote:
I'm surprised that someone that's already a parent of 2 children had no empathy for someone with a 10 day old baby and then gets in a huff over being asked not to come. He needs to get over himself.

Because some people sail through it. When my DS was 1 week old a mother of 4 called here with her 4 children, and then fucked off into the neighbours house leaving the 4 children with me :angry:

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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 8:10 pm 
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Deisemum wrote:
I'm surprised that someone that's already a parent of 2 children had no empathy for someone with a 10 day old baby and then gets in a huff over being asked not to come. He needs to get over himself.


Agree.

After our babies arrived, the grandparents visits trumped the extended family members visits hands down.

In my case, I felt more relaxed looking like hell, the house being a state and not having a thing to offer them to eat etc when it was "only" his or my parents that were there whereas when our siblings arrived I felt obliged to be well turned out and have the house in some sort of order.


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