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reg user here but dont want people who know me here and irl knowing this is me

was at home on my own the day before yesterday and was flicking around on the laptop. i clicked onto facebook and dh was already signed in and it went straight into his messages, i had just clicked from google onto a link.

anyway there is this really weird message from this girl i've never heard of saying that these two other people owe her money but its up to dh to pay it. i found the message very hard to understand as it was very "text speak"

all day i sat upset not knowing what was going on. a friend of mine called and then dh came home from work. he picked up his ipad and was on it a minute when he made a very worried face. i asked him was everything ok and he told me that there was just some loading symbol that he didnt understand but it was gone so he didnt need me to look. he just lied straight to my face. but i taught maybe it was because my friend was there.

my friend left and dh left a half hour after her to do a job for a friend of his. i put the kids to bed and after an hour text him to tell him to come home as soon as he was finished as we needed to talk.

when he came in i told him i had been on his facebook and what i had seen. he looked at the message and said he hadnt seen it before, that he didnt know her but he knew the other people she was talking about. he sent her a message saying he was very sorry but it was nothing to do with him if they owed her money.

i asked him last night had he gotten another message from her and he said no.

i was online today and was going to put a youtube video onto my facebook so pressed share and it went straight onto dh's page. now i know i shouldnt have but i went into his messages. everything had been deleted. so i pulled everything from his archive and she had facebooked him back.

i rang him left him a message to ring me back. when he rang back i asked him had he gotten any more messages and he said no. at that point i lost my head. I called him a f***ing liar and told him i had gotten all his deleted messages back. i hung up on him and wouldnt take his calls today as im just too upset.

when he came in he told me that he had done some "cash work" for the fella she was talking about and that he owed him money not the other way around and that he told the girl that he owed him money to buy him some time. he says he owes loads of fellas for work and cant be found. At this stage im so upset with the amount of lies he has told to my face that i dont care what work he has or hasnt done. i cant trust a word he says now

he cant understand why im so upset. Am i being dramatic?

thanks in advance, sorry its so long

No you're not being dramatic, the whole thing wounds very weird to be honest. Can you see this woman's Facebook page? What kind of work is it?

I find it strange that someone would start hounding someone for for money, that does not actually owe them money.

I think maybe you don't have the entire story.

something isnt adding up for you so in that case your right to be upset.

but maybe he is being honest.

id push it a bit more and let him know its ok to tell you the truth and that you are there to support him and also let him know its hurtful to be lied to

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Mom to 3 boys and one girl

step mom to 2 princess'

all sounds a bit weird, have you got the full story?

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He is obviously not telling you the full story. Ask him how he would feel if you told him the same story.

My first instinct would be he is just trying to protect you from the mess, hassle, stress of whatever has gone wrong. In his situation, I would probably do the same (not saying that is the right thing to do) but I would be better at it! (no mention of wired symbols for one. I would also be pretty annoyed if dh was reading my messages. If I accidentally flicked into his page, I would just log out, as I know he would do in the same situation.

Just my slant on it!

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If that was my dh I'd be worried that we were in serious financial difficulty that I didn't know about. Something he was trying to fix before telling me about it.

I am probably in the minority here but I really dont think you should be checking his facebook page and/or deleted messages.

You obviously dont trust the guy, once that happens you cant come back from it. Surely if he wanted to talk about it he would.

do you ever lie to him? coz trust works both ways.

I just think no matter whats gone wrong - its not appropriate to be sneaking into private files and mooching around,

Too many people find it acceptable behaviour,

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If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ' thank you,' that would suffice.

I'd be concerned, why would he lie to you? I'd be having a serious chat with him to get the full story