MagicMum.com

Hi ,
A neighbour of mine had her baby boy 8 weeks early due to pre-eclampsia! I would love to let her know that I am thinking about her but as I don't know her very well I amn't sure what to do !!
We are a very small community of only 7 homes!
I am reluctant to visit as I do not want to intrude and also due to fact that I am due in 8 weeks also so would feel like I am shoving my pregnancy in her face!!
Any ideas girls???

Cpants

is she home yet? if she is home without the baby I can only say (from my own experience) that this is the worst time for her... no bump and no baby!!!! She will probably be in and out of hosp visiting the baby and then sleeping a lot the rest of the time so maybe a phonecall and a message or a card to say you are delighted to hear of the arrival of her wee baby, I think people are cautious of celebrating because of the shock... maybe a trip to Adams or mothercare and get her a tiny premie babygro or something - these are difficult to comeby and she will not have shopping on her mind at the mo and none of the clothes she will have got in preperation will be the right size!!!

I wouldn't worry about your bump showing ... she is visting a maternity hospital to see the baby and will be surrounded by bumps and babies so at least yours will be one she knows

I'd say to ask if there is anything you can do in terms of food or shopping etc... but if you have only 8 weeks to go you should be putting your feet up too

Hope the baby is okay and just small, and will be home soon ...

Freddy

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MC 14/10/05 @ 11 weeks
MC 13/10/06 @ 9 weeks

cpants, when my ds was born (he wasnt premamture) one of my neighbours who I'd only know to say hello to dropped a congratulations card in the letterbox. I thought it was very nice of her,maybe if you d0o somthing similar, your neighbour will know that you know that she's had her baby and you wont have done it "in her face" iykwim.

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Hi cpants,

as someone who had 11wks premature twins I really appreciated all the good wishes, offers of help, cards and presents fron neightbours. I didn't know them very well as we'd only moved into the estate a few months previously but their concern and good wishes meant a lot to me and didn't feel at all intrusive. Even if you just pop in with a congratulations card and a little outfit or babygro it will mean a lot to know that someone else is feeling optimistic for her baby no matter how worried she is.

If you like you can tell her you know someone who's had prem twins a year ago who are doing fine now and I can pm you my number if she'd like to talk to someone who's been there. pm me and I'll give you my number to pass on to her.

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Beanie xx

Our wee man was a premie because I had pre-eclampsia, we were delighted when we received cards & prezzie's for him as it made it all seem a bit more normal, despite all the crazyness of the SCBU & incubator, etc, etc.....

If she wasn't expecting a premie then tiny clothes will be gratefully received, I had nothing to fit our wee man & I was stuck in the hospital for a week after his birth......which is why visitors were always welcome!

It's really sweet of you to want to do something & I'm sure what ever way you choose to say congratulations, your neighbour will be really touched.

HI Girls
Thanks for the advise!! I bought her a new baby album( you know the silver ones!!!)
Anyway I left it on their door step on Friday morning as I saw her dh's car and as it was only 6am I wasn't going to knock!!
I have since received a text from her thanking me for the gift and letting me know how her ds is !!
I think that a abridge has been built here!!

If my limited experience is anything to go by, the amount of bridge building (and bridge repairing!) that these tiny ones do, would merit membership of the Construction Industry Federation

From having watched others and been the parent of the a little one, I would say that any vote of confidence in the outcome for a premie is a great support to the parents - there is a marked reluctance on the part of people to congratulate or buy a pressie for the baby when these might be the very things that parents need to feel that they are not living in some sort of land of total delusion when they hope for a positive outcome. If things don't work out as they had hoped, the parents will deal with that at that time, however as Beanie said, the person who clearly shares the optimistic perpective is most welcome company!

I know that,in our case, the few people who went out and bought small things early on, were most welcome, as was the support from the magicmums.

JB