MagicMum.com

Just deleted as think I had too much info in case I could be identified!! Thanks a mil again for all the lovely replies. Ill let you know how I get on!

wow you have a lot on your plate.....if it was me i would take the career break and go with your husband for the sake of your family....it would be an adventure at least for the first 6mths to a year.....if you were leaving a big support network i might take a different view but it doesnt sound like that.....your kids will benefit from being around their father and so will you...and he will benefit from having a job and his family near him.....if you cant stand it you can come back after your career break?

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It is a massive decision to have to make but anyone I know who has moved abroad has not regretted it, however, why are you planning to go while your husband still has a job? If you are very unsure, you could always wait and see what happens with his Job and then the decision becomes easier... It sounds like your DH wants to go more than you do.... Personally, I would have always said I was one of those people who was better suited to working than being at home but now that the kids are older I find I wish I was able to spend more time with them....it might not be as bad as you think it will be..

Yes not an easy decision.

I can only share my limited experience. the two time we have to change country's, I was feeling like you.
completely confused (crying like bucket). and I only moved from England to Ireland and then Ireland to France (which is my home country). and every time we have lost thing I did like but gain other so it is never black and white;

maybe do a pro and con list so it help you to rationalise things.
everytime I also did budget spreadsheet taking in consideration different income, tax system, rent so to see what we were to expect in term of lifestyle.

It is hard to be stay at home mum with little support but you don't see to have much of it in Ireland. so thing wont be much different. Your children are still very young but as they grow up it will be easier and you might not feel the same about being a sahm in a year time.

Maybe you could get in contact with expat people in australia via internet or do you know somebody who has already made the move.

I cannot imagine for me and my children to be far away from their dad. but it is a personal choice.

Good luck with your decision

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Make a pregnancy ticker

I agree with taking the career break that way if it doesn't work out you can come back to your job. My cousin is going over in 6 months with two small children. Her DH has just left and it means he will have everything set up by the time she gets there with kids so less disruption and hassle for kids. That might be an option for you? And the fact that you have no worries about house etc when you get there might help you. You could Skype all the time so it's easy to keep in touch.
Hope you can come to a decision that's right for you all.

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Remember the kids you had for the past eighteen months are very different from the kids you will have for the next eighteen months.b They change so quickly and it does get so much easier as they get older. (And then they turn into teenagers and it gets ten times harder again but that's a different day's rant )

it's a very hard decision to make and i think making a list of pros and cons will really help focus your mind

pros and cons of leaving Ireland but also pros and cons of living in australia -
the popular conception is of a sunny land where life is good - and that is the case for very many people BUT australia is not without its problems and in some areas there are high degrees of antisocial behaviour/racism/drug and alcohol abuse etc and in more outback areas/rural areas life is much slower/basic but with high degrees of disaffection among the population and the weather can be very harsh - drought, heat etc.

it would be hugely important to do your homework before you go regarding where you are going - the urban centres are modern, sophisticated and have great opportunities but more rural areas can be less so and if you ended up in a mining town things could be very rough indeed. even living somewhere like sydney could be less than idyllic if you were in somewhere like the western suburbs and away from the 'aussie beach lifestyle' that we all dream of.

on balance, i think australia has much more to offer than ireland and for the sake of your relationship and that of your kids with their dad, for me it would be a case of 'one out, all out' - could you take leave of absence from your job, join him out there and if things improved here come home in the future?

it might be worth looking at some of the australian papers online as well to get a feel for things politically/economically/socially?

http://www.smh.com.au (syndey/NSW)
http://www.theaustralian.com.au (national)
http://www.theage.com.au (Melbourne/Vic)
http://www.couriermail.com.au (brisbane/QLD)


FWIW - if it was me, I'd go.

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can't figure out how to change my ticker but i'm 2 kg down. woo hoo. slow but steady.

No wonder you are stressed. You have so much to consider.

Try to do a plus and negative list. Seeing it on paper can make the decision easier to make.

We did 'the move' 12 years ago. I must admit only from UK to Ireland. Despite ALL our families still in the UK but we had to do what was best for our own little family. I struggled too with the decision but a dear aunt wrote me a letter and said if I never gave it a go I could regret it. If I did and it worked out then I would be pleased I did. She said it all adds to the experience of life and us and our children would get so much out of it.

We never regreted it. Another sister moved to France and has always been pleased she did. Another wanted to move, had doubts and stayed. She has always regretted it and now says its too late as their children are much older.

From my experience it is the unknown that is the scariest part of all.
Where we are now is familiar, we know what to expect. Even when things are awful financially we still have the comfort of knowing what to expect tomorrow (as in we know where th doctor is, we know the local shops we know our house well and area etc)

Once we make the move and the fear of the unknown is taken away then I'm sure a better decision could be made and you have that luxury in the form if a career break.

I'm probably rambling but as someone who has moved alot I always know it's fear if the unknown that is the hardest for me.

The fact that my husband seems to have no choice but to go would also strongly influence my decision.

Best of luck whatever you decide.
x

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I used to think that I was fussy, until I watched my dog look for somewhere to take a shite!

Thank you all so much - I dont have an aunt to write to me! This is my equivalent! I poop rainbows - that is exactly it . Its the fear of the unknown. Its exactly that I know where the doctor is, the playschool is etc etc. To be completely honest I have never enjoyed living in Ireland and never wanted to be here long term but at least I know where everything is and how they 'system' works!
On paper we have to go and it makes perfect sense. I love it over there, lived there before so I know it is a nice place. I have moved many times before but now with kids and being fed up physically I dont have the same bounce!
I think I would always regret not going and I fear for the future of my kids in this country. I am in touch with other expats through internet forums and I have done all the research. Its just the final push at this stage.
Thanks again. I feel its helping to clear my head a little!

i feel you already know what the right thing to do is.......be brave.....

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I can see from your last post that you know in your heart what is best. It WILL be the unknown, it will be un-familiar but it will also be exciting. Its a great opportunity and remember! nothing has to be forever.

We only live once. Grab every opportunity you can. As they say, it is better to have lived than to never have lived at all.

Good luck and keep in touch with all your decisions. We will all do it with you and will be there for you at every step along the way.

Thanks a mil again!!

Did you decide?

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Flights booked!!! No turning back now!

Best of luck. i think you've made the right decision.

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can't figure out how to change my ticker but i'm 2 kg down. woo hoo. slow but steady.

GREAT news. Well done

It feels like a big weight lifted already! Focus on the move now and moving forward! Thanks all again!