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When the priest of the local parish refuses you because you have kids outside of marriage do you have to get a letter of freedom from him to marry in another church. Can you ask for a different priest to do it in your local church.
Also he isn't happy about the baby being christened either. Can he refuse point blank. If your child is christened in a different parish does it mean its harder to get them into the local school?

Can you get another priest to come to the local church to do the marriage?
I don't think he can refuse another priest to come in?
I would stand my ground on this one, wouldn't be pushed to another parish.
tbh, I'd loose my cool with that priest and probably would return with a gun

I can't believe in this day and age a priest is refusing to marry you due to the fact you already have children, let alone refusing to christen your child.
I know when we got married we asked a priest that was a neighbor of DH's to marry us, but we used the church in my parish. We asked the priest from the parish to concelebrate with him. We'd didn't have children, but my point is priest usually don't have a problem with other priest using the church, but it sounds like this priest is a bit of a pain.
With regard to the problem christening the child, I am not sure what the situation is in your area, but I know here in our parish it used to be like that, but now it is to do with the catchment area, which I think is laid out by the Department of Education. You would need to ask the school about that, but I would imagine it shouldn't matter as you could easily have moved into the area after your DD was christening but before she started school.

If you are still having problems using the church I would consider writing a letter to the bishop for your area and complaining about your priest. We had a problem with a priest in our area and everyone gave out about him, but nobody filed any of it with the bishop until it got really bad, then he was moved. (Maybe you got him )

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Three Little Ladies to rule the world

If you want to avoid the letter of freedom issue, you can go to a solictor and sign a statutory declaration to say you have never been married before. The stat dec can be used in place of a letter of freedom (the church has no choice but to accept it). Don't know on the other questions, except a lot of friends of mine would have had their babies christened in their homeplace rather than where they live now, and I don't think it affects the school places. Unless your school is oversubscribed, it shouldn't be an issue anyway.

he doesn't want to christen your baby? that is really strange.

I think you will need a letter of freedom from your parish (and any parishes you have lived in). It is basically saying that you haven't been married before. What about your DP's parish - is that different? could you approach the priest there? My dd was christened by a priest friend in my old parish in Ireland - no problems and parish priest was happy to let us use the church. He didn't ask if we were married either.

Another vote for complaining to the Bishop. I haven't heard of something like that happening in Ireland in quite a while. I also don't think that the marital status of the parents should have any bearing on the child's christening? You have certainly found a hard-line priest there

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Are you regular church goers?

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My Snow White, 6
My little Tinkerbelle, 3

Its not me its a family member. i think i will wait until he is going before i get married lol. Although now i am waiting for him to refuse to christen DD2 because he tutted about me not being married when booking DD1s christening. And the girl he is refusing to marry and christen her child is going to be godmother to my DD2. My mother told me not to ask him, to get DD2 christened in DPs parish. He is a proper prick, he wouldn't come to give my dad the last rites or nothing.

He has the girl in tears. Good to know they both don't have to go back to him for a letter of freedom, thank you.

He also told her if he doesn't see her and her other child at mass every sunday he won't let him make his communion. That's bishops orders he said.

Would it be worth contacting the bishop to ask if get another priest can they use the church? She was so excited and now she is crying.

They are both in the same parish.
Her DP is a mass goer and goes every week, she hasn't been since November. But sometimes they go across to the other church where mass is an hour later and easier with kids.

Myself and DP are different parishs. I am in no rush for my own kids christening. Will see where to christen her before summer.

That's awful - sorry submitted before I finished.

She should contact the bishop - just if they weren't regular mass goers there would be no point in that.

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My Snow White, 6
My little Tinkerbelle, 3

That's ridiculous...
The priest in the church I am getting married in is leaving me off on the marriage course on the basis I have three kids. He is baptising ds2 in a fortnight also and it's not my parish. That priest would want a good kick in the arse. Sounds like the fella who threatened to run my mum out of the parish when she got separated all those years ago. It's priests like that who put people off ( alright there are a few other reasons but they certainly don't help matters...)
Your poor friend. I don't know if I'd even want to marry in that parish - a wedding is a positive thing and your man is turning it into a negative..

God that's terrible. My priest rolled his eyes when i told him my dds dad would not be attending her christening and muttered bloody men! He was great about it and wouldn't take another family on the same day so I wouldn't be standing on my own with her beside other couples iykwim. That church is in the parish where your dd was born if you want to contact him. He is lovely. By the way i'm not stalking you, just remember you mentioning the hospital when she was born.

a friend of mine was at a wedding and christening last summer - two for one job

I am no help - coz our parish has one priest that would have 4 parishes to look after - he is a lovely lovely man.

but that said - we only got him maybe 18 months ago - that priest sounds like our old guy!

one problem is that the church does not move with its parishoners,

god love the poor woman - no one needs that hassle

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If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ' thank you,' that would suffice.

I think thats terribly bad form - poor girl

i would contact the bishop

we are church of ireland but Our reverant had no problem baptising both kids and we were not married and we just got married at christmas and he was delighted to marry us. In this day and age this shouldnt be the case for your friend. Thousands of people have kids before they are married

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meant to be pm sorry

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DD 2001
DS 2007
#3 ETA Autumn 2013

Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many

Life is an ocean, love is a boat, in troubled water, it keeps us afloat

sounds like a gem? NOT

Why would she want this guy marrying them is what i want to know? I'ed be gone to the next parish.

As for not baptizing the child? sounds odd, i thought the priest would be delighted to get 'em in these days?

I've heard it happen in my parish aswell.
My bro got his boys christened in the local church, but his dp's cousin is a priest, so he christened them. I think they just told the local priest this was their wish, chis they still had to have permission to use the church.

When we were getting one of ours christened, OH said to the priest that he wanted him (we have 2 priests). Fr. X said ok, but sure if I'm not around, fr. Y will do it. OH informed him that no, fr. Y wouldn't do it that we wanted fr. X. He said nit to believe everything about him.
Fr. Y is very old fashioned and isn't into the while not being married business. He was actually barred from the local schools coss of his sine age beliefs.

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He is a catholic priest - I thought that went with the territory!

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May the force...Live long and prosper!

** whole !

Yea he is catholic, but I mean REALLY old fashioned.he even wears the hat with the 4 points on it!

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I would still write to the bishop and report this kind of behavior it is the not complaining that has our country in the state it is in.

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Three Little Ladies to rule the world

Glad she got sorted.. what an awful man.

When Dad went to the priest to book the church for our wedding (Im 150miles away from home) he told him we had DS.. The priest said a child before marriage is not God's way. My Dad said the last he heard God was very forgiving. But I was so annoyed about it I tried to get another priest...but failed. He didn't want DS walking up the isle but I sent him anyway carrying our rings. If we had of went 'Gods way' we wouldn't have any children as DH became infertile after we married... so in my eyes our DS is a 'blessing'

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Forever waiting on my second miracle.

I heard of priest refusing to christen kids but its mainly due to the name that the parents had given them, where not saints names and demanded that the children be given a proper name, so instead of Blue Tree Murphy, he had to be called John Blue Tree. TBH I dont see a problem with that. We had major problems finding a church to a blessing, because DH was married before, and it really turned me off of priest's. I would write to the Bishop, if the parents are regular mass goers then i dont see whats the guys problem. I would also ask him to clarify that why they are willing to marry people who only go into the church for the major events in their lives, communion, confirmation and wedding , but exclude regular mass goers from receiving the sacraments because they have a child outside of wedlock. My MIL said to her local priest when he refused my SIL for the same reasons, was that Sure Bishop Casey had a child out of wedlock FR,(although it '98). Worked though priest never opened his mouth again. I really thought those days were behind us.

Also it's very hypocritical of the priest to 1) not want to baptise a baby because his/her parents are not married and then 2) not want to let the parents actually get married

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DD 2001
DS 2007
#3 ETA Autumn 2013

Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many

Life is an ocean, love is a boat, in troubled water, it keeps us afloat