Mum shares the 'overwhelming' reality of motherhood... but it's her message at the end that is truly eye-opening
Constance Hall, a blogger and mum-of-four, recently wrote a Facebook message that had an extremely important message about self-care, particularly aimed at new mums.
The mum is not shy about telling things as they are, which is one of the reasons we love her, and her latest post is just as raw – but it's something we should all read.
Addressing fellow mums, she writes:
I often think about when I first have a baby.
How overwhelming it is.
How some days you stare at your baby all day but haven't enjoyed them once.
The constant stress of 'have I bonded with this baby? I'm so tired and resentful, is that normal?'
With one leaking tit hanging out of a maternity bra, a flap of empty skin hanging over your nickers and a pad the size of a nappy hanging around your mangled vagina as you run to your screaming baby after daring to put her down and brush your teeth, you don't feel like a miracle.. you don't look like the photoshoots.
And then for some of us, the miracle happens and it's in the form of help, usually by another women [who] comes over to hold our baby, wash our dishes and let us sleep.
By the time you wake up, the miracle of motherhood sets in, you can love your baby, the overwhelming feeling subsiding for now.
Just like when the kids are screaming, they won't let you get ready, your frustration is brewing, you just can't wait to get out of the house and away from them, then bam, the babysitter gets there and you are out for dinner, showing your girlfriends photos of the kids, telling, kissing your phone, messaging the babysitter for updates.
It's not motherhood that's the problem, it's the relentlessness.
Your children aren't the problem, your lack of a village is.
You see I read once that mothers suffer the most in the absence of a village.
The worst part is that rather than questioning their community, they are constantly questioning themselves.
Don't question yourself, this isn't supposed to be this lonely, you are not the only one suffering, we all suffer due to our society's set up.
Grab your girlfriends, hold them close, make dinner together, wash each other's dishes and love their babies like they are your own.
We are our village. A village of queens.
And my all-time favourite memory of the first few weeks of motherhood was opening the door, leaky tit hanging out, flap of skin swooping under my top and the sides of a maternity pad sticking out of my undies, to a friend, who took one look at my disgraceful state and we both pissed ourselves laughing.