Family Life

Mum shares a photo of her son on Facebook, and then asks people not to judge her

As part of our Mums Who Inspire series, we are sharing a post written by Laura Mazza – Mum on the Run.

Being a mum is hard work. We all have our ups and downs, good days and bad, and were all guilty of criticising ourselves more than we should. And the last thing we need is someone else judging our every move because it's not how they would do it. 

So when we came across Laura's post on the Love What Matters Facebook page, we just had to share it with you. Such an inspirational message, her words will resonate with a lot of our readers. 

Uploaded alongside a photo of her son, Laura writes: 

Don't judge me. 

If I complain about my children, don't say I don't love them.

If I say how perfect they are, don't tell me I'm too braggy. You don't see the hours I spend holding and loving them.

If I'm honest about motherhood, don't say I'm ranting. You didn't see how many years I couldn't tell anyone how I felt because I was afraid.

Don't judge the mother who is formula feeding. Don't call her lazy. You don't know if she struggled for months on end trying to make it work. You didn't see her go to lactation consultants, eat lactation cookies, spend money on lip ties and a paediatrician. You didn't see her journey.

Don't judge the mother who breastfeeds in public. You don't know if today was the day she finally got the confidence to do it. You don't know how hard she's worked to keep that breastfeeding going. Don't belittle the act of a mother feeding her baby.

Don't judge the mother who tells off her kids in public. You don't know if she's the most patient woman in the world. You don't know that she is always gentle but today she lost her shit because she's tired and worn out. Don't call her a bad parent when you don't see all she does.

Don't judge the mother on her phone. You don't know if she's replying to important work emails, working from her phone, looking up recipes that her kids will eat for dinner or talking to her mum that lives a million miles away.

Don't judge the mum who works. She's making a living for her child.

Don't judge the mum who stays home. She's doing the job of 20 for no pay.

Don't judge the single mum. She's doing fine on her own, and is doing the job of both parents. She left a bad relationship, she stood up for herself, she's a role model to her children.

Don't judge the mother eating fast food with her kids. You don't know that she's too exhausted to cook, that she wanted to keep her kids happy and get out of the house for a treat. You don't know her struggles. She could grow an organic vegetable farm for all you know.

Don't judge the mother who hasn't lost her "baby weight". She's spent the year healing from birth, mentally and physically. Now isn't the time for her to give up cake and eat kale.

Every mother has her own story. She has walked down a tough path. You don't know her challenges, her strengths, her weaknesses…Her life – you don't know any of it.

She judges herself every day; she strives for the best every day. So rather than judging, lend a smile to her, cut up her food when she breastfeeds, warm up the kettle for her formula, reassure her in her struggles and praise her victories..

And remember, before you criticise, accuse or abuse, you have to walk a mile in her shoes.

If you know someone who has done something inspirational or you have your own story that you would like to see featured in our Mums Who Inspire series, email mary.byrne@sheologydigital.com and we'll be in touch. 

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